Finding Happiness

Chapter Twenty

TW: Mention of rape and abuse.

Clarissa's POV:

I looked at Melissa and she gave me an assuring nod to continue.

"Ummm, it was the day before my family found me, that was probably the worst night for me," I paused swallowing.

"That day, I woke up tired so I decided to stay on the worn-out mattress trying to ease the pain slightly because that week, he hit me like no other and I wasn't able to feel my body, so I stayed at that place instead of doing my routine and going to my penthouse," I said and a tear slipped out.

"That night, he brought five men so he can destroy my already torn body. Every time he brought someone I would always fight and end up killing them at the end," I said looking at her, she worked for our mafia so I knew that it wasn't a problem for her.

"But that night, he injected me with a drug that made my body still, I could feel everything but I couldn't move, I was thrashing in his hold while he was doing it, so he stabbed me to stop my movement," I said full-on crying.

"He took out the knife from my stomach and then injected me with the drug, I wasn't able to fight them for the first time, I felt so useless I tried to move my body but I couldn't," I said remembering that night.

"They raped me, more than once. I felt my soul being ripped out of my body, I cried for the first time in front of my rapists that day, I cried but they didn't care, they saw my tears but they ignored me and kept doing it," I said sobbing, I put my head in my hands and cried.

I felt my body being hugged, I hugged her back tightly. She told me to take deep breaths and I did. After calming down I looked at her crying face, I know that therapists aren't supposed to cry in front of patients but I was happy she let it out in front of me. It showed me that she's listening to me and feeling what I'm feeling.

Melissa extended the kleenex and I wiped my face.

"I'm not gonna tell you that you are strong because you already know that. You probably heard it from a lot of people so I'm not gonna say it, instead, I'm gonna say that every tear that drops from your eyes matters to someone, your family would rather die than see you cry. The people who caused them didn't care but so many people out there care for you," she said and I smiled.

She knew what to say to make me feel better and I'm really grateful for her. After that, we talked for a while about how my week went and how I should learn to overcome my nightmares.

We finished our session and instead of heading back to the company, I wanted to walk around a little bit. So after driving around for a while, I saw a park with kids playing around so I parked and got out sitting on a bench watching the kids play around.

I wish my childhood was like that. I wish I was happy with my family instead of getting beaten and raped every day. I wish it went differently, I didn't deserve it, I didn't deserve not having a childhood, I didn't deserve not being loved and cared for.

I wipe my fallen tears and focus on the kids then something catches my attention, a little girl getting dragged by a bulky man, I get up quickly and walked there.

I grabbed the girls hand and she looked at me with tears in her eyes, my eyes widened "Mila?" I said surprised, "Baby who's this man?" I asked pointing at him.

"I'm her brother, we need to go home," he said in his French accent and I punched him in the face, grabbing Mila and putting her behind me.

"Her brother, yeah? I fucking know her whole family and you tell me you're her brother, you asshole," I said grabbing his elbow and twisting it behind him making him groan, I kick him in the shin and he falls on the floor, I put my heeled foot on him so he doesn't move, I lift Mila in my arms.