𝘉𝘓𝘐𝘕𝘋𝘚𝘐𝘋𝘌𝘋 | 𝘈.𝘏. ✔️

• Nine

Chapter Nine: I Can't Drown My Demons, They Know How To Swim

Above the clouds, thirty thousand feet in the air and yet- you can't seem to relax. Emily and JJ were snuggled together sleeping while Derek, Reid and Rossi played cards. Sadly Garcia isn't on this trip but the team didn't question your presence. They simply made sure you were okay to come back to work and then moved on with what they were doing. Even for the best profilers in the country, they bought it. Rossi will steal a glance here and there to make sure you are truly okay but other than that- no one really cared.

Hotch said you were here to consult on this case since you're back- which you aren't yet- but your injuries do feel better and you're ready to practice law again. You were surprised at how well you were able to adapt to being around everyone again. When they go to touch you, you don't flinch and you don't coward away like you normally would. Just a short amount of time has made you feel so much better. Deep down you believe it is Hotch who is helping you.

He doesn't push you to do things and you could've easily said no to New York. Technically you are part one of the estate even after the will so there isn't anything stopping you from going. Axel wouldn't be stupid enough to hide in an estate that he owned- he's dumb but not that dumb. Insulting his intelligence seems to make you feel better.

As you listen in on the case about a serial arsonist, your mind drifted to the way his hands felt on your arms. It was such a simple gesture but you wanted to stay there forever. His hands were soft and warm. His body was inviting and you wanted to step closer but you couldn't. There are too many factors at the moment and you just got out of a relationship.

"Y/N?" Emily's voice snapped you out of whatever trace you were in. Your forehead was sore from furrowing your brows for so long.

"Hm? Sorry I always lose track of my thoughts." You say it was a genuine laugh. Being back with the team was so nice and refreshing- a small sense of normalcy.

She smiled at you softly, "I asked how are you doing? We're glad that you're back but you haven't talked at all this whole flight."

You looked around to see everyone now looking at you, even Hotch. "I- um I'm doing good. Hotch taking me in was probably a lot better than some random safe house in the middle of the woods."

"I figured that," JJ jumped in, cup of coffee in her hand and a motherly smile teasing her lips. "Did the doctors check your injuries before you came?"

There it was. The question you had been dreading. When Hotch left, you dropped the gun in his hands and suddenly you were off. Anderson packed your medication so you didn't believe it was a big deal since the pain had already subsided. You glanced over at Hotch who had buried his face in a file, one hand up as he rubbed his fingers together.

His body was tense. He didn't lie to the team like this. You knew he was nervous but itching for some answers too. Eventually the team would know everything, however you needed to look in that house alone. There are too many skeletons in the closet- some yours- and anyone else finding out would be liable.

"Said I was healing nicely..." you trailed off.

• • •

Against Reid's best wishes, you are all excited to get to the hotel after the long flight instead of stopping for dinner. Since you had landed in New York so late, Hotch insisted that the team rest instead of picking their brains about case files. You always believed the manila color would rot someone's brain.

"Seven keys, all on the third floor. Rooms 107 through 114." The male receptionist explained, pushing over the keys. You watched as each member snatched a key and went about their lives as you and Hotch stood there, dumbfounded.