𝘉𝘓𝘐𝘕𝘋𝘚𝘐𝘋𝘌𝘋 | 𝘈.𝘏. ✔️

• Twenty

Chapter Twenty: Every Time I Close My Eyes, It's Like A Dark Paradise

Trigger Warning: Mentions Of Rape, Suicide (Important note at bottom)

Despite what information you learned, you told Penelope to bring you to the soccer field rather than the BAU. Seeing a familiar and comforting face was what you needed right now, leaving Celia up to the professionals. You had every intention of seeing her at some point to get some answers of your own. Even when you see the kids playing on the field in blue uniforms decorated with numbers and last names, you couldn't feel all that happy.

You should— considering the circumstances, but you couldn't. The feeling has grown to become foreign amongst other things. Albeit you were tired and so full that you could barely walk, you spotted the tall man with dark hair in a gray t-shirt and jeans. You'd become accustomed to seeing Hotch in more causal clothes though it never got less weird.

"Still not on the field yet?" you ask with a cheeky smile as you approach him.

His body whips around at the sound of your voice , his face not changing its cold expression. You glance down at your feet, embarrassment coursing you at his reaction to your presence.

"No. Dave says we might have to cancel the game. I assume Garcia informed you," he exhaled.

You dust your hands on your pants for no reason as they are clean as a whistle. "Yeah, I figured you'd want to still see Jack, and I did too. Derek has it handled for now— there is no rush."

"I need to get to the BAU immediately," Hotch sneers.

"Watch your kid for a day Aaron, the job can wait." you say, matching his tone.

During this light of day there was no reason for an argument. It was clear that neither of you were particularly happy about this news but in the end it would only help. Jack runs around in his uniform, laughing while playing with the other kids. Rossi watches them carefully making sure they don't injure themselves before the game.

"I am perfectly capable of watching my kid for a day, Y/N. You shouldn't be present in the case anymore, you know the conflict of interest a witness brings, you know the law," Hotch bites back.

Your nostrils flare up as you turn away from him, face painted red with anger. "The law states that you've already broken it, yes? You allowed me to help you work this case but now you suddenly are so resistant about it, after all, you know the law about citizens in investigations."

"This is for your greater good, I'm not going to let you kill yourself over this when the team can do it for you," he says, "I've changed my mind, you're services aren't needed."

"Hotch I'm not going to go down a spiral because of this! Why do you suddenly have a huge changed of heart?"

"You're not trained for this, I will not put you in danger as your superior." Hotch barely spares you a glance of sympathy.

You clench your fists at your sides. Whatever was happening was unnecessary. You don't know what it is, but you know that he found something out and is keeping it from you. Despite efforts, he was easy to read. Fingers rubbing together, jaw clenched with teeth grinding, sweat lining his forehead like he just got out of the pool.

"You found something out didn't you? And you're keeping it from me!"

He shakes his head hesitantly, "I know as much as you do in this moment," he explains.

"God, you're so hypocritical," you scoff, "What did they tell you? You said we weren't keeping things from each other."

Even with the cooler temperature, your own sweat begins to form on your hairline. You wait patiently for his response, yet the silence he serves you is enough of an answer.