𝘉𝘓𝘐𝘕𝘋𝘚𝘐𝘋𝘌𝘋 | 𝘈.𝘏. ✔️

• Epilogue

Entry One
Starting over.
3:19 AM
3/18/19

I don't know how to start this, or even if I want to. So much has happened and I feel like using my old journal with letters smushed together to make what I thought was my solution, would've been an insult. Only because I have grown. It's been about a year now. I'm not healed, only bandaged and my head is in the clouds all the time now. I want this journal to be about healing, how I've overcome what others couldn't while still providing myself what I deserve.

I didn't expect the FBI academy to be as hard as it was. Although I'm only a trainee- Aaron said I'll move in quickly (I don't believe him)- I'm glad I did it. I remember sitting in the hotel in New York, shaking, and Aaron asked me if it was something I thought about. I shut it down immediately, I didn't think I was strong enough. Three months after I got out the hospital, I visited my office. It was full of blue and glitter and anything you could assume Garcia would put in there.

I loved it. There was something missing though. My plaque carried my old last name and lawyer status, both of which reminded me of the past that I didn't want to exist anymore. I walked down the catwalk into Aarons office. I said, "I think I'm ready..."

"Ready for what?" He said. I remember the way his brows pulled together like always. The cute wrinkles it creates in his skin. He dropped his pen on his desk and gave me his full attention. He thinks anything I say is interesting.

"For change. I know that isn't really my thing but I was thinking about New York. The academy doesn't sound too bad. If I end up not liking it, I can always stop."

A smile lit up on his face like a ray of sunshine and, fuck, it felt good. After that he prepared me to the fullest extent. I'm practically a sharp shooter now, which may come as a surprise because of my past experiences with guns (all of which were bad). I finished not long ago. It was grueling but it gave me challenge I needed.

We found out Tate still didn't have a home. We invited her to ours. She lives with us, eats with us, goes to school, has sleepovers, cries, laughs. Tate Monroe is everything we could've needed. Even Jack loves her. Celia is in jail. My money never got back to me fully and I never reached out to my dad or Avery. As horrible as it sounds, I don't want to speak with them. Axel is dead and there is no one from the past to chase me again.

Therapy is getting better. I'm talking openly and after fifteen therapist, I finally didn't break up with this one. I want to think that everything happens for a reason but it doesn't really. (My hand is hurting from this pen.) I think more than I should, hours on end. I suppose that's how the brain works. Aaron proposed not long ago. Our wedding is already in the early stages and my hands shake with just the thread of excitement when I realize everything I have ever been through has led me to this moment.
I don't want kids. I want a life where I can enjoy what is already in front of me. I created something knew.

I never thought being blindsided would open up everything I could've ever imagined.

-
A/N-
It's been, well, months. I finished the school year, got a boyfriend, a job, and truly didn't find the motivation to write. I hope this doesn't end here, and I will hopefully be starting something new with a better and improved writer as I would say. These months have been difficult and I often found myself writing when I felt depressed. I tried to stop doing that mainly because it was bad for my health and I wanted writing to be something that I did to supply joy. Until next time.

-M