Monsta X | Smut Collection

Breathe / Kyun

Trigger Warning: Depression Numbness

I don't know where to start here. I've always been very careful with writing explicit about depressions. But this time I want to.

I wanna say this: Love won't cure you. Love won't heal you for good. Love can make it better for a moment, easier, but it's rarely healing. What helps is being with someone who knows how to give you strength, knows how to deal with you and your illness. Someone who won't give up on you, no matter how giant that maze in your mind it. Yes I'm romanticizing it here, but I can only post this with a clear conscience cause I have this kind of partner. So this isn't a fairy tale I'm writing about... 

Breathe 

Gently, Kyun lets the loofah roam over your naked body, watches it covering your skin in white foam while he peppers your head and neck with soft kisses. You had a few rough couple of weeks and unfortunately, it shows. You're so strong, so confident. But the past weeks kinda changed you. Kyun saw your laughter becoming less frequent, saw the circles under your eyes from your sleepless nights becoming darker, and he worries. Mostly because you haven't cried in a while. And when you're not even crying anymore, it's critical. But he knows that this is just a phase. A phase he takes seriously but knows will pass. All he can do is be there for you, holding you and telling you over and over again that you're not alone with this. Whatever you're fighting with inside your head is something you have to fight alone, but he can give you strength, encouragement, a shoulder to cry on.

Smiling he watches you laying between his legs, your head on his chest, the water that surrounds you. His free hand softly caresses your face, strokes your cheeks, retraces the lines of your face.

"Don't fall asleep, beautiful!", he chuckles in a low voice, so he won't disturb your relaxed mood.

"This feels so good..." you mumble, your eyes closed, your hands on his legs. Kyun chuckles in return and kisses your head, lingering.

Carefully, so you won't hurt him or flood the bathroom, you turn around to him. He drops the loofah and cups your cheeks gently. "What's wrong?"

"I miss the sea...", you suddenly say and he tilts his head, smiling. It always makes him happy when you at least try to tell him what might cheer you up.

"Wanna drive to the sea?", he asks and kisses your nose. You wrinkle it, surprised. "You would drive to the sea with me?"

Kyun narrows his brows. "What kind of question is that? Of course I would?"

Sighing, you lay your arms on his chest and support your head on them. "What about your schedule?", you mumble and Kyun feels the ache in his chest. It's true, even though he's always there when you need him, always there to catch you, it's been a while since the both of you were able to act like a normal couple. Not just because of his busy schedule but also because of who he is. It's hard for you to be his partner. And most of the time you can handle the hate, the attention, being followed around. But lately, you feel so weak, so fragile, that he didn't dare to take you out, the risk of getting disturbed or that you might get triggered is way too high...

"Come here!", he sighs, places his hands under your arms, and pulls you up, closer to him. Gently he wraps one arm around your waist while the other one holds the back of your neck. "I will make time for you, okay?", he says and turns his head to look at your face. "I promise!"

You nod, still gloomy. And he knows why. He made a lot of promises he couldn't keep in the past months. Always had to come with apologies and other promises to make this up to you. But he knows that right now, his words aren't enough. You told him what you need to feel better, to recharge, to get out of this, and he has to take action now if he doesn't wanna risk you falling into a hole you won't get out of again.