Extreme Ways (GiyuShino)

Diary Part 1

Life has been a bitch with me since I remember.

I lost my father and mother when I was a kid.

Though my sister was left in charge of me. My memories of her are as clear as water, every day she used to woke up early to prepare breakfast and get ready to school. My happiest memories are those where she dropped my at school and all my classmates praised her beauty. However, destiny can take away what you love. Fate is a kid who loves to see a face full of despair.

My sister died at the age of sixteen, she was killed by an idiotic truck driver who got drunk. That day I lost that light inside my heart. My soul rot and my emotions were locked deep inside me, a place where not even the sun reaches.

No relative took me in. I was left alone in this world. Only Sabito and Makomo were by my side. My two only friends.

Struggling and experiencing failure after failure, I learnt to live, to manage the money my parents left me. To work to sustain myself. Sometimes I felt envious of my classmates who can take it easy and go with the flow.

But, it all changed. That fateful day when I met, the most beautiful woman in the world. At first my reluctant self tried to get away from her. Like a self preservation instinct warning me of her poison.

Shinobu Kocho. The woman who put my world head on. Falling in love with her was inevitable, I cannot lie, unable cannot deny it... how can I?

She is the reason why my will to keep pushing forward came back. To keep living another day. Every morning when my alarm wake up, I remind myself that as all days her eyes will be in front of me. Her lips are mine to take and her warmth will be shared with my body.

Can I ask for something better?

Maybe that she didn't lied to me. It was all a plan, a stupid highschool idiocy. She went along with the bullies and tried to break my heart.

Well, she got her objective. I opened up to her. Accepted her, embraced her and even told her my deepest griefs.

Why?

I... tried to kill myself. Just like Iguro and Shinazugawa suggested. Trash like me, worthless scum who came to the earth to suffer and taste the pain.

To be honest I did not care about the humiliation, nor the hits or even the soda to my head. But, when Shinazugawa told me about the plan, refusing to belive him, my eyes wen to her face, pale and broken, my heart shattered. Deep inside she knew what she did on her own free will.

My memories are blurry. My legs ran and ran and ran, until exhaustion was such that my lungs were a single step away from gushing out. The marathon took me to a bridge. The name I do not remember. The height I do remember it like it was yesterday. Tall enough to kill myself.

My end was near. A pounding drum took the place of my heart. I can feel the temperature rising in my blood to the point of boiling. A wind hit me from the back, like God sending a signal to jump, a gentle push that will end with a single splat.

Shinobu deceived me. Her love was but a lie, she used my heart as a toy. Shinazugawa and Obanai were behind that lie all the time...

And everything was just one jump away from ending. A single stepnforward an all the misery, grief and penance will go away.

My body took the decision and time slowed as my suicide began.

Why didn't am I alive? Because someone stopped me.

"Young man stop!"

Before I could even move, someone dragged me back with such strength that my butt received all the impact of the fall backwards.