My Book Of Poems

Perfection

I've had recent thought of suicide, floating in my empty mind.
All because I'm not what you expect,
All because I'm not your perfect kid.
I'm just a natural disaster and you killed me and my wondrous laughter.
You wanted perfect.
Didn't have all A's, so now I'm worthless.
You tell me to stop 'half assing it through school'
You say 'stop turning your self into a fool'
I tell you I'm trying and really I am.
You don't believe me because I didn't do unnecessary work.
You tell me that I'm not good enough and that I'm damned.
Every time you put me down, my mind goes berserk.
It's so much pressure, so much stress.
I think of suicide more and homework less.
You don't realize that it's a lot for me.
I fucking swear I'm trying!
Will it ever stop?
Give me some rest.
My grades have dropped.
I'm a fucking mess.
I'm trying to get back up.
The running total is 36 out of 100.
A low graded F, I'm getting my ass kicked.
A 'C' a 'D' an 'F' a 'B'
Not good enough for you nor for me.
To try to get along in life I know it's not enough.
But I swear I'll end it if this pressure blows up.
Take a breath.
Give it a thought.
Take it back a notch.
Before I break down and lose the battle that I've fought.

Credit to my good friend: Shane Matthews