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This house is not my home. There are so many bad things that have gone wrong in this place that it holds so memories where all I want to do is scream. Remind me why I still crawl back to this place every night? Oh that's right because I'm expected to come back to the place that holds all of my nightmares and tears. How'd we get here? Where did my hope go? Down the drain with my mental disorders and self pity. Oh what a shame, instead let's play the blame game! Except not. I wanna go somewhere else but I always come right back to this spot, stuck in an endless cycle of the same bullshit. But hey, who's counting, right?! Wrong. As time goes on, my brain finds more ways to find a better home, some place where I am safe. I tried to make a home out of you but I was always told "never make a home out of someone else, because once they're gone, you're screwed." So where do I go? Where do I lay my achy bones and tired heart? Because going back to where my family is, isn't an option nor a start. It's always been "my house" never "my home." It stopped being that at age 11 for me when my life took a turn down the bumbling staircase and smack into my front door. The excuse is about useless and poor as it once was before. You can't cry for help and wonder why no one answers, because you've cried wolf before but this time, you howl. Because the wolf is really back but no one believes you or comes to your aid. Fade back into the darkness where we once began. Everything's better when we can't pretend.

Written By: BistyC