No Going Back (Nyck de Vries X OC)

Some more reflection

It has been a few days since the team celebration and I am finally back at my second home in Monaco. I want to relax for a bit but first there is something that I have to do. It has been five years since my biggest supporter Herve Leclerc passedaway. The thing is he was the one that made me realise that I had more potential than I thought. I wish that I could thank him properly for taking me in but I know that I can't unless I have a time machine. Well I can do the next best thing. That is to support Charles. Yes I can do that since the Monaco Grand Prix is this weekend. I am lucky that my apartment has a view of a section of the track. The thing is I am sure that Charles will invite me. I soon made it to the small graveyard. I soon spotted a familiar face. It's Charles' younger brother Arthur.

"Hello Arthur," I announced my presence.

"Hey, Jess. How are you doing?" He replies.

"Well all things considered I am doing alright. How about you?" I say. The thing is I have a lot on my mind. First of all, I have two races to think about. The truth is I am looking forward to watching the Monaco Grand Prix as there is still a part of me that yearns for an F1 drive. Still, I know for a fact that I will be better off in Formula E. I notice that Arthur looks a little downtrodden. I put it down to the fact that he was the worst affected by Harve's death. Like me, he had to put his career on hold to recover from the loss of a loved one.

"Excited for this weekend," He replies. Of course, I forgot that both Formula 2 and 3 will be taking place alongside Formula 1. It soon occurs to me that it will be an interesting weekend in more ways than one. It's just there is a lot going on in our personal lives. I find myself reflecting on the day that Charles and I found out that Harve was terminally ill. We were supposed to be heading to Baku a week earlier as the leader had invited the entire Formula 1 and 2 grids to an event.

I am currently out dress shopping with Charles. For some reason, he decided to volunteer for the job as his mum is busy looking after Harve. I am glad that Charles has decided to come along even though he won't be too much help. I can tell that he is not exactly the most comfortable.

"Hey Charles, you know you didn't have to do this," I remarked as we walked to the latest shop.

"I just thought it would be nice," Charles responded. He is right but I know for a fact that he is out of his comfort zone. Thankfully Charles is put out of his misery as his phone rings. As soon as he answers it the look on his face changes. That can't be good. He soon hangs up.

"Jess, we have to go. Dad has gone to the hospital," Charles announced. With that, we abandon dress shopping. The funny thing about Monaco is it is a small country. Charles and I made it to the hospital in record time. We are intercepted by Charles' siblings. They are just as worried as we are. Thankfully we were quick to find his room. I can feel the dread build in my body as the last time I was in this position it did not end well.

"Can I talk to Jess alone?" Harve musters up some strength. After some concerned glances, the others finally leave.

"What can I do for you Harve?" I timidly asked.

"I need you to look after Charles during the next race," Harve replies. It sounds like he knows that he is not going to make it.

"I promise," I say. I can feel my heart shatter. It is happening again. I feel the same emotions as the day that My life changed. It doesn't take long for us to be joined by Charles. Like me, it is his turn to see what his father has to say. With that, I step out. I get to work on making an important phone call to the team principal.

"What can I do for you, Jess?" He answers the phone. I am quick to explain the situation. Including the fact that Charles and I will not be attending the event.

"Ok, I will make sure that Nyck will be on standby in case you or Charles don't feel like racing," He responds to the situation quite calmly.

"Thank you," I replied. With that, I hang up. The next couple of weeks are going to be difficult. I will obviously do everything in my power to help. It is the least that I can do to repay Harve for taking me in when I needed him the most. It has been a week since then and the worst has happened. Harve has succumbed to his illness. I am starting to resent the fact that I have no luck in life. I can only imagine how Charles is feeling. We are supposed to be the best and I am not sure if we can keep it up. The only word that I can use to describe how I feel is numb. Again my world is crumbling before me. I just need to remember that I just have to hold on. All of these thoughts are going through my mind as we head to Baku. It will be a long weekend. It has been a couple of days since Charles and I arrived in Baku and the mood in the garage is sombre. Thankfully Nyck was able to come.

"Jess you don't have to do this," Nyck remarks.

"Look Nyck. I want to race. Someone has to back up Charles and it might as well be me," I retort. After all, it is the one thing that I can do to keep my promise to Harve.

"Well if you are sure, go for it," Nyck says as he sends me off with a pat on the shoulder. I soon get ready for the qualifying session. Thankfully I am able to get through without any drama. The only thing I did differently was give Charles a tow to help him. Even then I am still in first. It is the day after and the air on the grid is tense. The lights soon go out and I manage to get a good start. After fifteen minutes of driving, I have decided to let Charles pass since he needs the win more than I do.

"Can someone let Charles know that I am going to let him pass?" I use the radio to inform the team of my decision.

"Are you sure?" My lead engineer responds.

"Yes, Charles needs the win more than I do," I responded. With that Charles and I switch places. I get to work on defending so that Charles won't have to worry. After thirty minutes of driving the race comes to an end. I am relieved because my plan has worked. Seeing Charles on the top step and knowing that I helped makes me feel a little better. Now that the podium ceremony is done I make my way to the garage.

"Jess you didn't have to do that," Charles seems angry at my decision.

"Look Charles, you needed the points more than I did. Plus it is hard to help you when I am leading the race," I retort. Charles tilts his head in confusion. Of course, Harve wouldn't have told Charles that he asked me to help him.

"Your dad asked me to help you and I couldn't do that if I was leading the race. I do stand by my decision," I clarified for him.

"Oh. Well, then I need to thank you," His reply is a little awkward as I have put him in an interesting situation. The thing is I am stubborn. I am not going to accept that I made a bad call. After all, I didn't since Charles won.

I am brought back to reality by the sound of another Monegasque accent. This time it is Charles.

"Hey Charles," I remarked. I notice that Charles has a look on his face to suggest that he is thinking of something.

"I was thinking that I could invite you to the Ferrari garage as a VIP," Charles suggests.

"That would be good. I was thinking of saying yes anyway," I say. His eyes lighten up. There is another reason why I want to go. Nyck will be there as he is the reserve driver for the Mercedes F1 team. Plus Mick will be there and I haven't really had the chance to talk to him since we parted ways after our time as teammates in F2. Well, it looks like I have something else to look forward to. The thought brings a smile to my face.