No Going Back (Nyck de Vries X OC)

Welcome to New York (Race 2) *Nyck's POV*

I screwed up. Big time. I should have followed the team's orders. Instead, I let my ego get the better of me. Now Jess is at risk of losing the championship lead because of my stupid actions. At least this time I have a chance to make things right. If Jess ends up behind me I will let her pass no matter what. Hopefully, that will make things right with Jess. If not I will think of something to make it right. I realise that I may be going a little hard on myself but actions have consequences. Right now I am getting ready for the third free practice session. I am getting a brief from Albert. To be honest I am a little distracted by my thoughts about the upcoming race. Well more the fact that I need to make it up to Jess before London. Like Ian said to me yesterday, we need to work together.

"Are you alright Nyck?" Albert suddenly checks on me.

"Honestly, no. I screwed up yesterday," I responded as I hung my head in shame. I wish I could tell Jess how I really feel. The thing is she has made it clear to me that she still hates me. I can understand where she is coming from but it is in the past.

"I'm sure Jess will forgive you at some point. You just need to focus on the free practice session," Albert responds. He is right but it bothers me that I made a stupid mistake. It was a mistake that could have ended with much worse consequences for both Jess and I.

"That's the thing, Albert. My guilt is weighing on my mind," I hate the fact that I am feeling guilty when I can just make amends later. Ok, it might not be as easy as one would think but I have a duty to make things right.

"Let's focus on FP3 for now. Then we'll make a plan," Albert responds. He is right. I need to focus on the race. There is not much that I can do right now. As Albert said, we can make a plan later. With that out of the way, I get my balaclava and helmet on. I take a deep breath as I get comfortable in the car. I'll be fine so long as I don't screw up again. After a brief pause, I am sent out. It doesn't take me long to realise that I would be the only Mercedes driver out on track. Maybe I should offer to help Jess' lead mechanic once I am done with the free practice session. The answer will probably be no.

"I'm going to do a couple of full power laps," I announce via the radio.

"Ok. copy," Albert responds. With that, I make the required adjustments. I get to work on getting the car around the track at full power. After thirty minutes of work, the third has come to an end and I am relieved. I am not really in the headspace for action. I know I shouldn't dwell on the past but I screwed up and want to make amends. Now that I have a small break I head to Jess' side of the garage but I am quick to turn around. It turns out the feeling of guilt has led me to feel embarrassed. Plus I think Jess wants to avoid me anyway. With that, I find myself in the hospitality area. I just want this day to end. As if on queue it gets worse.

"Nyck we need to talk," Jess announces as she joins me. I can tell that she is still angry at me which is fair.

"About?" I respond even though she is going to want to talk about what happened yesterday.

"Albert told me how you really feel. I need to apologise for wanting to lash out," Jess apologises for some reason. That was quick however I am a little confused as I feel like the apology was too quick. The thing is I know how long it takes Jess to get over her emotions.

"No Jess. You have every right to be angry. I screwed up big time," I counter. Jess seems to consider what I am saying.

"I'm still angry but we need to work together," Jess says. She is right. I need to help her get the points that she needs to win the championship. It looks like there is hope for my plan. We shall see what happens. Despite Jess' apology I still feel guilty. I just wish I could turn back time and listen to Albert. Oh well, I can't do anything about it as it is in the past. Like Jess said we need to work together. For the next hour, Jess and I awkwardly avoided each other. At least we were able to work something out. Right now I am getting ready for qualifying. Even though my conversation with Jess was short it has put my mind at ease.