No Going Back (Nyck de Vries X OC)

A new friend

A\N I have decided to make this story into a cross over with my Anthoine Hubert X OC so stay tuned for the cross over chapters. The only reason why I mention it is because Jaylyn's backstory will be slightly different to the one presented in that story. So what I am trying to say is please don't point out the inconsistencies. They are there on purpose. Since there is an author's note I am going to remind you to vote and/or comment.

It has been a couple of days since the race in Puebla and we are finally heading back home. It is a flight that I am not really looking forward to but it should be made easier by the fact that all of the other drivers will be on the same flight. Based on my limited interaction it will be interesting. Thankfully the trip to the airport itself is quite quick. It is due to the fact that we are on one of the earlier flights to France. After twenty minutes in various queues, we made it to the gate. I am quick to notice that Nyck and I are the first ones here. I am a little surprised as there are three Germans in the championship. To my surprise the next person to arrive is Sergio.

"Morning Sergio," I greet the Brazilian. I notice something a little off about him.

"Hey Jess," He responds. Something tells me that I shouldn't ask. It doesn't take long for us to be joined by Sergio's teammate, Jaylyn Reid. She was Nico Muller's replacement. As he has gone to the DTM full time. It soon occurred to me that Jaylyn was Anthoine's teammate and they were pretty close. Unlike me, she decided to continue on. Maybe Sergio is worried about her. I dismiss the thought as it is none of my business.

"Hey Jess, can I properly introduce you to Jaylyn," Sergio asks.

"Sure," I reply. It will be nice to get to know Jaylyn a little better. We have met before but we didn't really say much since neither of us were wanting to talk.

"Jay this is Jess Bianchi," Sergio gets to work on introducing her.

"Hello Jess," Jaylyn greets me. It sounds like she is not really keen on getting to know me. I know the feeling. Still, we fall into idle chatter about things like the race, amongst other things. There is another thing I notice. She is fiddling with a ring. She suddenly stops fiddling with the ring.

"Sorry Jess but the races in Puebla were my first and I feel like I am breaking a promise that I made to Anthoine," She explains. It is something that I understand clearly.

"You're not. I'm sure Anthoine will be proud of you no matter what category you raced in," I try my best to reassure her. It seems like it has worked. Thankfully the conversation changes as we are joined by Antonio Felix Da Costa who has three cups of coffee in his hands.

"There you Jess," Antonio says as he passes one of the cups to me. He passes one of the other ones to Jean-Eric.

"Thank you, Antonio," I reply. I am impressed that he knew that I needed the little bit of energy that coffee gives me. Unless Nyck told him. I find myself glancing at Nyck for confirmation. I realise that I hold the glance for too long as Jaylyn gives me a quizzical look. I mouth something to Jaylyn. It looks like she gets the message as she doesn't ask. The next lot of drivers to arrive are the Jaguar drivers, the Mahindra drivers and the Venturi drivers. Again Idle chatter falls through the group as the Porsche drivers, the NIO drivers, the Envision Virgin drivers and the Audi drivers arrive. For some reason, the last to arrive are the Andretti drivers. Now that everyone is here we board the plane. The good thing about this flight is the fact that the business class is occupied by the drivers plus some team personnel. While we wait we all start comparing where we are going to sit. A look of annoyance flashes across my face but it soon disappears. After what feels like an eternity we have finally boarded the plane. I sat down. I quickly get some stuff organised. Before settling in for the long flight I turn to check on Jaylyn. The truth is I want to make sure that Jaylyn is comfortable for some reason.

"Hey Jay I meant to say earlier that you can ask me for help whenever you need it," I made the offer to her.

"Thank you. I'll keep that in mind," She replies. Again it seems that she doesn't want to get close to me. For some reason, I start to think that she doesn't want to get close to me because of the fear of something going wrong. I hope that my assumption is wrong as I know what it is like to push people away. At least she now knows that she has someone else that she can ask for help.

"Sorry for being annoying," I say. I have realised that it can get annoying. It is something that I have learnt from experience.

"It's all good. I just have some personal stuff to deal with. I'm sure that I'll be fine eventually," Jaylyn explains. With that, I leave Jaylyn alone. There is not much that I can do unless she asks for help. I quickly turn my attention to the inflight entertainment system. Nothing really catches my attention so I get to work on drifting to sleep. After what feels like an eternity I doze off.

It's happened to me again. I am getting ready for another grief-filled day. I don't want to go but I have to. I am already in Rouen. It's only fair that I follow through with it. Luckily for me, I have support. Both Nyck and Mick have decided to make it their mission to get through the day. In my case that is a good thing. Right now I am considering whether or not I should put some makeup on. I'm worried that the makeup will be ruined by the end of the day, however, I need something to cover the evidence of a lack of sleep. After a few minutes of debating, I finally settled on doing the most basic of layers. Just enough to hide the fact that I haven't been sleeping well. As soon as I finish there is a knock on my door. I am quick to open the door. As promised Nyck and Mick have arrived. I sigh as I grab a few things. After twenty minutes of crippling silence, we made it to the venue.

"You know you don't have to do this," Mick speaks up.

"I might as well. I am here after all," I say. I try to muster a tiny bit of courage but it never arrives. Nyck and Mick reluctantly help me out of the car. I am hit by a familiar scene. This time instead of the entire Formula 1 grid it is the entire Formula 2 grid. I feel like I have been hit by a brick.

"I'll be back," I excuse myself. There is someone that I need to talk to. I scan the crowd for Anthoine's teammate. Unfortunately, we don't really get to have the conversation that I want since the funeral starts. I am quick to take a seat with Nyck on one side of me and Mick on the other. The first person to speak is Anthoine's teammate. She takes a deep breath as her trembling hands organise some papers.

"There are no words that I could think of that could describe the loss that we are feeling today so instead I would like the chance to reflect on the positive impacts that Anthoine brought. First of all, I'd like to make it clear that without Anthoine I wouldn't have made it far. To me he was my knight in shining armour," I can tell that she is trying to hold back tears. I know what it is like to have a mentor ripped away from you. I can feel her words stir something in me.

"I owe everything to Anthoine and I will do everything in my power to repay him. Whatever that entails," Jaylyn concludes her small eulogy. The rest of the event flies by quite quickly. For some reason Mick tugs on my arm.

"Come on Jess let's go," Mick whispers. That must mean the funeral has come to an end. To be honest I wasn't paying much attention because of the fact that I was occupied by the events of that day. It was as if I was reliving them. I should have tried more to help Anthoine. It has been a few hours since the funeral and I am fighting the urge to punch the wall. If you are wondering, my grief has given way to anger. This whole situation was my fault. I should have backed off. It was basically a three-way fight between JM, Anthoine and I.

"No Jess, you need to keep your emotions in check," I utter. Too late. I strike the wall. Luckily for me, the wall was not damaged but I am met with a splitting pain in my knuckles.

I sit to attention as I come around from another nightmare. I try to wrestle my breathing back under control but it seems that I am unsuccessful. Jaylyn is looking in my general direction.

"Jess are you alright? I saw you thrashing around while you were sleeping," Jaylyn explains. I should tell her but for some reason, I feel like it would be a touchy subject for her.

"I had a nightmare. I'll be fine," I reply. Jaylyn doesn't look convinced but I honestly will be fine. I will have to talk to Nyck about it. I just hope that Jaylyn and I will be able to work something out. At least I know that we can be good friends.