Destined To Meet

Telling Him

"Emily?" He gave me a confusing look.
" Who is this for?"

" Jose, give it back!" I tried to take it away.

" Not until you explain."

"I can't tell you." Tears started in my eyes. " Just give it back.." I tried to take it away again.

" Emily?" Josh put the pregnacy in his pocket. It was sticking out because it was bigger than the pocket. He came close to me and put both his hands on my arms. He whispered , " Tell me."

I could no longer hold the tears in my eyes and they fell on my starting-to-turn- red cheeks. The memories of everything that happened that night started to come back to me and I couldn't help but cry. I remember when he touched me with his filthy hands and I imediately pushed Josh away. The memories where messing with my head and my hands seemed to have a brain of its own. I couldn't stand the feeling. I didn't want anyone to touch me right now.

" Emily?" He said again.

I looked down and sniffed really hard it hurt.

" Please give it back."

" I want to help you." He said.

"Well you can't--! "

Before I could tell him no, he was quick at it," please!"

He hugged me. And the feeling was warm and trusting. I knew I could trust him but I don't know how to. I hugged him back. Crying I said," he..he.." I sniffed, " he raped me."

As soon as the words slipped through mouth, his hold on my tightened.

" I'm so sorry, Emily. You don't deserve this. I swear if he was still alive I would have beat the crap outta him. " I could hear the anger in his voice. The sadness, the pain, but more the anger.

" I wish that I could have protected you better." he said.

I finally managed to stop crying for little bit. " It's not your fault, Josh."

He let go of me but we were still standing close to each other, I wish it felt like this everyday. I guess I just have really bad luck and karma for not reason. I wanted to stand like this for forever and just never ever go away but I had to find out what my results were. I needed to know so that if I had been pregnant I would I don't know, do something.

" I have to go Josh." I said as he wiped my tears away.

" Let me go with you."

"No. You can't. I have to do this alone."

" I want to help you and be there for you, Emily."

" And I love you so much for that." I kissed him on the cheek. " But I have to do this alone. "

I looked at him and gave a sad smile then walked away taking the pregnacy test with me.

*************************************

I got home, I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I took a deep breath and I could feel myself about to cry. What If I was pregnant? What if I had twins?! Twice the pain! What would I do with the baby?! Maybe I could get an abortion. But that's an innocent baby. I can't kill it! I'd feel guilty for it and never have peace.

"Okay, I can't start thinkin about this, I have to know if I'm pregnant." I said to myself taking three deep breaths and wiping my tears. Whatever the results are, I've dealt with worse. I guess this is my life. Nothing but pain. I read the instruction carefully, over and over again to avoid false results.

I finally decided to do it. I waited for about 5 minutes. I prayed so hard during the 5 minutes hoping to get a negative result. Finally the result were on the pregnacy test and the results were.....