The perfect neighbours

Chapter 20: it's okay, I'm alone.

Xander came in the next day and things went extremely well. I didn't get any weird feelings, I didn't even want what I had wanted from him yesterday when he left. I was just annoyed by his presence,his face,his touch just everything but maintained my confidence.

Things continued as such and days after, I started having severe headaches, nausea and dizziness most of the times. I was prohibited from walking to downstairs and whenever I needed some fresh air, I would sit in the balcony area only.

From going North,things just went south. My dad had started filing for divorce. I don't know the reason, I can't remember it. I haven't seen mom in a long time. I spend everyday reading books that Tina and Candice bring me from the library and also my school books.

I felt extremely happy when reading about other people's lives and I felt that I was a part of something and not alone. I always felt occupied like there's someone around and I would catch myself having lots and lots of conversation.

I think I've lost my mind. Why am I talking to myself like this? It's normal.

Talking to myself didn't bother me at all because after the conversation ends I'd be feeling good in a weird way. Either way days past and they became weeks and weeks turned to months. The routine still the same.

1-hygiene process
2-Eat
3-Xander
4-medication
5-3 hrs sleep
6-Eat
7-Fresh air/ read a book
8-Xander
9-Sleep
10-mid night check by dad
11-medication
12-Sleep
13- 3am to 4am meditation/ prayer

And it went just like that for approximately 3 months. Before I knew it exams started and ended. Final examinations started and also ended. I was so tied up with the schedule that I would skip the meds on some days. The doctor had said that I shouldn't miss any days but I felt really good whenever I didn't take the meds.

I told the doctor about the whole thing and the fact that the nausea , dizziness and drowsiness and confusion didn't happen whenever I didn't take the Meds and he said a whole lot of bullshit that I didn't pay attention to, something like continue taking the meds because... Blah blah blah. Later that very same day, I flushed all my Meds in the bathroom sink. I wasn't gonna live like this forever.

A month later, I was feeling perfectly fine. At first when dad found out what I'd done, I couldn't tell whether he was angry, sympathetic or scared. But he waited a week, sleeping in my bedroom couch and checking up on me every now and then. No new symptoms came,no sickness came, I was fine. I kept wondering where mom was but didn't get the courage to ask dad.

Since examinations had ended. The last time I saw Xander was a month ago. The festive season is here and finally I get to leave the house!!
I woke up the next morning feeling better,happy, energetic that I literally ran downstairs and out of the house to the front yard.

I felt I should check the mail box for some reason. I opened the box and found stacks of letters to me? from someone named Finn? I took the stack of letters and went upstairs leaving behind those that are not mine.

I sat on the bed and read the first one:

Dear Grumpy

I'm really sorry for everything that is going on in your life. I know you're going through the worst because I've been keeping tags on you. I'm not creepy just in love. I'm sorry that we have to be this far away from each other. This is a reminder that you're not alone and that I love you.