Always Have & Always Will (3)

Chapter 23

 River's pov-

Salah has been sleeping a lot lately. We're currently on our way back to New York. Thankfully this flight is much shorter, it's only eight hours.

Over the past three days I purchased a bunch of baby books and spent my days reading them. Salah basically sleeps all day, wakes up for an hour and then goes back to sleep. I was a little worried at first but apparently it's normal.

She's also been having bad morning sickness. I found out different ways to help with morning sickness. Unfortunately none of them have been working. The two methods that have proven to be most effective are fresh air and lemons.

She usually sleeps with the windows open anyway so that wasn't much of an adjustment. But lemon water seems to help with the nausea. It doesn't always work but sometimes it helps.

I feel awful, I wish there was more I could do for her. I mean she's growing a whole ass person, that's insane.

Ever since I found out she was pregnant I've been rethinking my decision about taking over for my uncle. I don't want to put my child in danger. I wasn't worried as much about putting Salah in danger because I knew I could protect her. But I'm afraid I won't be able to protect a child.

I also don't want my kid to have the same childhood I did. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and I'm so thankful that she took me in but I don't want my kid seeing the shit I did. They shouldn't have to grow up surrounded by death and fear.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Salah stirred in my lap. She's been having a lot of nightmares the past few nights, they started after she found out about the pregnancy. She won't tell me about what happens in her dreams but she always screams, " Open the door!" .

I don't know what that means but she always looks terrified. It's honestly scary seeing her have a nightmare. It's starting to really concern me, it's stressful for her and the baby. I know that you're most at risk for a miscarriage in the early stages of pregnancy. I also know that stress can cause a miscarriage.

I don't know how to help her, she won't talk to me about it. If they don't start to die down soon I'm taking her to the doctor. I know she doesn't want to go but I won't let her hurt herself or our baby.

I gently ran my fingers through her hair, " You awake?" I asked softly.

" Mhm." she hummed, " How do you feel, angel?" I asked.

" Good." she smiled up at me, " How much longer?" she asked.

" About two hours." I answered and she nodded.

She sat up, straddling me and resting her face in the crook of my neck. " Are you alright, my love?" I asked, rubbing her back. I smirked when I felt her kissing my neck, " I'm horny." she whispered, biting my earlobe.

That's another thing that's changed, she's always horny, not that I'm complaining. I've been a lot more gentle when it comes to sex. I just don't want to hurt her or the baby. I can tell she's a little frustrated with my change of behavior but she doesn't push it, knowing I'm just as nervous as she is.

I'm so excited about becoming a dad but it's scary. Her being pregnant is scary. I'm terrified something's going to happen to them. I think Salah realizes that I'm feeling a little uneasy and therefore a little overprotective.

" When aren't you?" I teased. She slid her hands down to my pants and started caressing my dick over my jeans. It was hard the second she started kissing my neck.

" Never." she whispered, grinding on me. She undid my belt buckle and pulled my pants and boxers down.

I pulled her leggings off, " No underwear?" I asked with a cheeky smile on my face.