✓ GREEDY HEARTS | JAY

21 - Until The Place Burns

JAY'S POV

Baek Y/N is fucking with my brain. But I would lie if I said I don't want her because I fucking do. I want to feel her lips against mine, to lose myself in the chaos of this unexpected connection. The kiss is both intense and desperate, as if we're trying to drown out the noise of the world around us. I know she's hurt. I know I'm not supposed to feel this way, especially towards someone involved in the dangerous world. But the more forbidden it feels, the more I find myself drawn to her.

Her arms are wrapped around my neck and her lips are against mine. I'm holding her as if I'm holding on to something precious, something I never knew I needed. I'm trying not to hurt her, not to hold her so tightly that it adds to the pain she's already in, but I need her closer. I need to feel the warmth of her against me, to drown out the cold reality of the world we live in.

I'm a foul for denying my desires. I'm just a man and a woman like her with no rules, no boundaries, is both my biggest nightmare and my deepest desire. 

Before I know it, I sneak my arms under her legs and lift her, making her gasp against my lips. The feeling is exhilarating, the rush of adrenaline making all rational thought fade away. Her legs wrap around my waist while she winces and I know she doesn't want to show me how much pain she is in. But we're past that point now because her eyes are enough to tell me that this moment is something we both need.

I carry her to my bedroom, not breaking the kiss, and lay her on my bed. I've never let anyone into this intimate space of mine. I've never let anyone this close, never allowed anyone to see the vulnerable parts of me. Yet, here I am, almost compelled to bare my soul to this woman who broke into both my mansion and my guarded heart. 

"Park," When I hover over her, she rests her hands against my chest and then holds my shirt and pulls me closer, her eyes locking onto mine. "Don't overthink this." And then all I know is her hands cupping my cheeks and her lips kissing mine. Fuck, this woman knows how to silence the chaos in my mind. I'm trying my hardest not to hurt her, not to make her wince or groan at my touch, but I'm one hungry man and her lips are the feast I've been denied for far too long.

Her hands are warm against my skin and her lips taste like the first raindrop after a scorching drought, a sweet relief that awakens the earth. I'm not much of a poet, but I know when something feels right. I know when I'm in too deep, and no amount of rational thinking can pull me back.

My hands move to the small of her back and I carefully pull her closer and she's sitting on top of me while our lips never part. My thumbs brush against her cheekbones and Gosh, she feels so fragile and yet so strong in my arms. I almost look like someone who hasn't been kissed before and maybe that's true. Maybe I've never been kissed this way—so passionate, so raw. It's a collision of two worlds that shouldn't intertwine, and yet, here we are, lost in the chaos of the moment. Breaking the kiss, I look into her eyes, searching for any sign of hesitation or regret. I would never force her into anything, and though I know she's wounded and vulnerable, her eyes tell me she's fully aware of her choices.

The room, for a moment, fades away, leaving only the warmth of her body against mine but then, reality crashes back in as she winces in pain and I pause. Reluctantly, I break the kiss, looking into her eyes. "We should stop," My hands are still resting on her waist. "You're hurt, and I don't want to make it worse."

Her breath is warm against my skin as she whispers, "Don't stop." Despite the pain, she pulls me back into another kiss. It's both frustrating and intoxicating, and for a moment, I forget all the reasons why this is a bad idea. But then, she winces again, and this time, I can't ignore it. 

"No, I can't. We can't keep doing this if you're in pain." I watch as she bites her lower lip, both frustration and desire in her eyes. Then she sighs and lowers her head.

"I don't want your pity, Park. If you're having second thoughts, just say it." I could never have second thoughts about this with Red. I could never hesitate on what I want with her. But seeing her in pain, knowing that I could be causing her more harm, it shakes me. Though I'm not one who cares about sentimentality, I can't ignore the twinge of guilt that snakes its way into my chest.

"It's not about pity, Red." I lean in, placing a gentle kiss on the uninjured skin near the wound while she tilts her head to the side, and I take the chance to trail my lips up, leaving a series of feather-light kisses along her jawline. "I'll fuck you until the whole place burns if that's what you want, but not when you're in pain."

She lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding, and I pull back, our eyes locking once again. "I really can't figure you out. One second you're all business, threatening to kill me, and the next, you're... this."

"That's the point," I murmur against her skin, my lips finding their way to the crook of her neck. "I don't want to be figured out. I want to keep you guessing. But also... I can't seem to stay away from you."

She shivers, whether from my words or the touch, I'm not sure. "You're infuriating," she says, but there's a hint of a smile playing on her lips. She's smiling. Red is smiling at me and it's a sight that feels like a victory. Her fingers tracing patterns on my chest feels like poetry written in Braille, a language only we understand in the silence of the room. "But maybe we're both just trying to find something real in a world that's anything but."

The words hang in the air, and for a moment, neither of us speaks. I justlook into her eyes and when I do, I see more than just a woman who could ruin my life. I see a person, flawed and scarred, just like me. The realization is unsettling, yet strangely comforting. 

"You should get some rest. This won't heal overnight," I suggest, my thumb gently brushing against her cheek. "You can stay here. I'll go back to my office, get some work done." I help her lie down on the bed and tuck the blanekt around her. When I'm about to turn around and leave, she grabs my wrist and calls out my name. My name. 

"Jay," She says, and the way my name sounds on her lips sends a shiver down my spine. I'm usually a Park, not a Jay. But in her voice, in this moment, I'm Jay. The man who stood by her side when she needed someone, the man who, for reasons I can't fully comprehend, has allowed someone into the guarded corners of his life. "Thanks... for, you know, not letting me bleed out and all."

I can't help but crack a faint smile. The corner of my mouth quirks up, and I find myself lingering a moment longer. "I have my flaws, but I don't toy with lives. Yours included, Y/N." I can't help but lean down and place a soft kiss on her forehead before getting up. 

Fuck, this wasn't part of the plan. My life was supposed to be calculated, controlled, devoid of emotional entanglements. Yet, here I am, lingering in the hallway of my own mansion, feeling like a fool who has willingly walked into the chaos of the unknown. The scent of her cologne still lingers on my skin, and I find myself inhaling it. I'm not thinking straight.