✓ GREEDY HEARTS | JAY

30 - You Never Had Me

JAY'S POV

I can't believe what my father has just revealed. No, I don't want to believe it. Y/N, working for him? It doesn't add up, and yet, a gnawing doubt starts to claw at the edges of my thoughts.

When I get inside my car, I don't tell the driver to head to the office. Instead, I order him to drive me straight to the mansion so I can confront Y/N and get to the bottom of this twisted revelation. The drive feels longer than usual and I have to force myself to stay calm. I can't let my emotions get the best of me, not now. As I step into the mansion, I'm greeted by the familiar sights and sounds, but everything feels different. Betrayal is my constant companion now, lurking in the shadows of every corner.

"Red." I enter her room without knocking, the nickname slipping out automatically. I can't call her by her name when everything feels so raw. I can't call her by her name when she might have been keeping secrets from me.

"Jay? What's wrong?" She quickly sits up and I watch as she frowns, confusion etched across her face. It's either her acting skills are top-notch, or she genuinely doesn't know what's going on. And I plead to whatever higher power might exist that it's the latter. I don't respond for a while because I'm busy trying to gather my thoughts and find the right words. She stands up and makes her way toward me and when she tries holding my arm, all I can do is yank her hand away. "What the hell-"

"You're working for my father." I hear myself say because I'm too angry, too hurt, to soften the blow. Her eyes widen slightly, her hand frozen mid-air where I rejected her touch. For a moment, she stays silent, looking into my eyes as if searching for a hint of understanding or forgiveness. I'm not ready to give either and yet, all she needs to do is say the right words, and I will listen. But those words don't come.

"It's not even a question," She replies, her eyes telling me that my nightmare is indeed coming true. "You already think I'm guilty, don't you? You already made up your mind."

The room feels suffocating and the next thing I do is pin her to the wall, holding her hand firmly above her head. It's a move fueled by anger, by the betrayal I feel cutting through me like a knife. "Answer me, Red. It's not so hard, is it? You just need to tell me it's all a lie. Tell me my father is trying to manipulate me and that you have nothing to do with it." That I haven't ended up loving you just for you to turn out like everyone else in my life — a disappointment, a betrayal.

"Your father is right." The words feel like a punch to the gut, and I release her as if her touch burns. I stare at her, at the woman I thought I knew, the woman I thought I could trust. The silence that follows is deafening, and I take a step back, running a hand through my hair in frustration. 

"Red," The word comes out more like a growl than a name. But it's also a plea—a desperate plea for her to give me a reason to believe that the person I allowed into the deepest corners of my life is not betraying me. "What did you fucking hope to achieve by working for him? How long have you been reporting to him? For fuck's sake, what did you even report to him?"

"You know I was working for Choi Minho and he wanted to know everything about you. Your father somehow needed an assistant and I ended up working for him. You know I hated you back then," I almost flinch at her words, feeling the weight of them like a physical blow. The truth stings, but I force myself to listen. "I reported to him about your dealings and the people you associate with. And if you think I betrayed you, which you clearly do, then fine. But I never did anything to intentionally hurt you. I never revealed anything that could put you in danger. All of this happened before I even started-"

When she stops herself and looks away, a heavy silence hangs in the room. "Before you even started what?" I demand, my voice cold and filled with anger. She's looking away but I hold her chin and make her look at me because she's not about to stop there. She's not about to escape this conversation without giving me the whole truth.

"Nothing." She mumbles, her eyes still avoiding mine. "It doesn't matter now."

"I've had enough of your half-truths and evasions, Red. Tell me everything, or so help me, I'll tear apart every lie you've built." My grip on her chin tightens, the anger burning in my eyes, and I can see anger flickering in hers. 

"Fine, Jay. You want the truth?" She snaps, pulling her chin away from my grasp. "Before I even started developing real feelings for you, Jay. Before I realized that maybe you're not just the heartless bastard everyone thinks you are. Before I realized that my heart could be so foolish as to fall for someone like you. But you know what? You can't even admit you love me and that's for the best. Now you'll just hate me and we can move on."

"For fuck's sake, Red-" Frustration is coursing through me but her fists collide with my chest as she pushes me away. The force takes me by surprise, and I stumble backward.

"You're not even calling me by my name! You already made up your mind, Jay! So, what does it matter now? You hate me. You think I betrayed you. Fine, let's end this. Let's end whatever the hell this is between us." She's on the verge of tears, but she refuses to let them fall. And I just stand there, watching her, my emotions like a storm raging inside me. Betrayal, anger, confusion, and beneath it all, a raw, undeniable ache.

"Do you think I'll just let you walk away like this? We can hate each other for all I care but I won't lose you."

She lets out a bitter laugh, devoid of any humor. "Lose me? You never really had me, Jay. You never had me because you never let yourself. You kiss me and tell me you want me and yet you can't even admit that you're fucking in love with me. You can't even acknowledge your own damn feelings. And now, when things get messy, you're quick to throw it all away. I'm not some damsel in distress, and I sure as hell don't need a hero. But I thought, just for a moment, we could be something real. But you've already decided what I am to you. So fine, Park, the cold-hearted, ruthless man. I hope it serves you well."

I stand there, frozen as her words pierce through me, watching her walk past me so she can get out of the room. No, I'm not letting her go. I quickly grab her hand and stop her but the next thing she does is yank her hand away and push me away. "Stop it, Red, you know you can't just walk away from this."

"I will. I will walk away. And I know your men out there will try to stop me but I'll kill every single one of them if I have to. Remember? I'm Agent Red, not your sweet Y/N whose heart races at your touch. Unless you want to end up with more dead bodies than you can handle, don't order your men to go after me. You said you don't drag innocent people into our mess, I hope you keep your promise." 

With that, she storms out of the room and I clench my jaw before going after her. My men walk to me but I raise my hand to stop them. "Let her go," I order tersely, my gaze never leaving the retreating figure of Y/N. Her short hair flutters with each step she takes, disappearing around the corner. And I don't follow her. I don't chase after her. "I never had you?" I hear myself say while I stuff my hands into my pockets, frustration seeping through my tone.

You're wrong, Red. You're so damn wrong.