Married To Mafia ( Series One)

chapter 32

“Allah makes the impossible possible.” –Anonymous

Amira Sultan p.o.v

" I am stuck with you "

" You are not even that beautiful "

Covering my mouth I ran toward my room slamming my door shut , I tried to breath as it was becoming difficult for me .

" Ya Allah please help me " I repeated again and again .

My heart was trembling while my mind was racing with all the negative thoughts about my future. I noticed my hands were shaking , extreme tiredness overwhelmed my body as I realised I am having a panic attack again .

" Your father doesn't want you "

" You are burden to us "

" I am stuck with you "

" No one wants you just leave "

All the horrible memories , all the words that stab my heart like a knife ringing inside my ear again and again .

I felt this is the end…. I was imagining all the worst things in one second that I felt , I am losing my mind .

I was feeling suffocated and not able to breathe .

Sliding on the floor , I tried to breathe but the tears had no plan to stop .

I started repeating Hasbunallahu Wa Ni’mal Wakeel ( Sufficient for us is Allah, and [He is] the best Disposer of affairs)  again and again after sometime I started to breathe again as my heart beat came back to normal after sometime .

A small smile erupted as I remembered my lord's promise that Allah s.w.t will never leave us alone no matter how many times we forget our lord but Al Wakeel will never forget us in despair . I am lucky that I got to acknowledge Allah's love for his creation .

Hasbunallahu Wa Ni’mal Wakeel is a very powerful ayah from the Glorious Qur’an, Surah Al-Imran (3:173). A strong Dua that can overcome fear, anxiety, or distress. According to Hadees, this Dua was sufficient for Prophet Ibrahim (may peace be upon him).

Even though I was calm now but my mind went back to what Khalid said that he will never love me and neither I am beautiful to him . Feeling heartbroken I want to do wudu to read Quran for mental peace .

As I was reading the Quran I came across a verse which took me by surprise " we created man in the best design " the Qur'an 95:4 .

My eyes welled up reading the verse .. I am so stupid , I am questioning my beauty because a man said so when my lord who created me said , he created us in best form then who is Khalid or any human being tell us that we are ugly because we are not … it's their thinking .

Feeling quite relieved I closed the Qur'an with a smile and it was a genuine one . I am so grateful that I found Allah or I would have to go through all of this pain alone . Even though Allah never leaves us alone, we make ourselves so distant from our lord that in every pain we find ourselves alone .

No matter if we have parents , siblings , friends or life partners no one can feel our pain more than our lord. Why do we run to human beings to share our pain when they can do nothing but give us sympathy and do we want sympathy ??? No we don't, we just want someone to understand our pain , know that what we are going through , mental bruises are more painful than physical one yet no one cares how deeply wounds are cut inside us .

At least I am lucky that my lord made me recognise his unconditional love .

Khalid Mirza p.o.v

" Did you fight with Amira ?" I felt my muscles tense as my jaw clenched. I don't want to think about her .

" I haven't even seen her for 6 days " , it feels like she is hiding from me intentionally .

"Not that I care .." I look away, thinning my lip in anger .

There was an amusing smirk on Osman's face , irritating the hell out of me .

" Why the hell are you smiling ??" I was interrogated . My fist is now itching to land a punch on his chiseled jaw .

" Nothing , I am just amused that if you don't care , why are you counting days since you last saw her ??"

" Is that the reason you are so frustrated ?" I glared at him, making him immediately shut up . He knows well I am not someone you can fool around with .

" I am frustrated because of that man you guys couldn't catch " I snapped glaring at his face .

He got serious " our men are on their way Khalid"

" That man should have been caught by now " I gritted out .

Osman rubs his face in frustration " Khalid are you going to live like this your whole life ?" His eyes held seriousness .

" What do you mean? " I got up walking to the window only to find my eyes landing on Amira roaming in the garden smelling roses ..

Why is she so innocent ??

" I mean living bitterly all the time " Osman spoke behind me but my focus was completely on Amira , my eyes focused on her every movement like an eagle .

" You need to bring sweetness in your life Khalid , like you used to be before " I heard him say .

Slowly Amira eyes met mine and I can see her breath hitched , quickly looking down , she ran inside .

Again hiding from me .

" There is no sweetness left in me " I said unconsciously ..

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Another update hope you all like it .

Do you think Khalid will ever change ??