Married To Mafia ( Series One)

chapter 35

“Forgive others as quickly as you expect Allah to forgive you.” -Anonymous

Amira Sultan p.o.v

" What is wrong with me? " I pace from one place to another .

" Why am I feeling restless? " My chest felt so heavy since the time I told Khalid those harshful words .

and you don't deserve anyone's love and that's why your own mother doesn't love you "

Closing my eyes tightly I sat on the edge of the bed .

But his broken face flashed in front of my eyes .

" Oh my Allah '' I stood up and almost felt like crying .

This is the reason I don't say hurtful words to people; it always backfires on me .

"But he raised questions about my character" I defended myself .

But that doesn't give me the right to hurt anyone's hearts , my subconscious said .

" Well he doesn't have a heart, " I argued, turning around .

How do you know ? 

" I do , he questioned my chastity " I gritted out .

" That too without any proof " I was fuming in anger .

 Is it you talking or shaitan 

This thought immediately made me calm .

" But -" I tried to justify myself but I stopped .

He misunderstood you …

He is a human being named Amira ..

His men said there was a man 

What was he supposed to do ?

" Trust me !" I said out loud to myself .

It's like my mind was divided into two .

Does he know you 

" No he doesn't but it's his fault " I cried like I would go mad from my internal battle .

"Oh Allah " I hold my hand feeling exhausted .

Just then I remembered the teaching of Our beloved Prophet (Peace be upon him) said: “Whoever suffers an injury and forgives (the person responsible), Allah will raise his status to a higher degree and remove one of his sins.”

I quickly felt guilty " I shouldn't have said those words to him no matter what " I cried feeling broken .

" So what if he said bad things about me , if I behave like him then what will be the difference between us? " I felt ashamed .

" He will be answerable to his sin and I will be answerable to mine " I tried to make myself understand .

" This is not what Allah s.w.t. wants , I am Allah s.w.t servant , I cannot behave like this " 

" I need to rectify my mistake " I wiped my tears with determination .

Quickly wiping my tears I did my wudu and prayed two rakat for forgiveness .

Standing up I thought to apologise to Khalid as well though little part of me didn't wanted to but then again I am doing this to save my akhirah I mean just imagine you will end up in hell just because you broke someone heart with hurtful words I mean no person in this world is that worthy that we ruin our akhirah for someone .

Nope I won't let this happen to myself . I will apologise and end this topic for my mental peace. 

I stood in front of his door " come on Amira you can do this " I encouraged myself .