Ineffable Husbands Being Adorable Idiots

A very merry hip hip happy Christmas and all that jazz

An. The art is from aiwa-sensei on tumblr. I'm pretty sure that it's ok for me to use it but I don't really know about the etiquette of reshaping fanart so just let me know if you think I should remove it and I will:). It was Christmas day when I wrote this but it almost certainly isn't for you as it is now 1am on Boxing day and noone reads things as soon as they are published anyway. If it is currently December for you and you celebrate it then Merry Christmas. I apologise if it is currently June and you are sitting outside, trying to shield your screen from the sun so that you can read to avoid the neighbours at this stupid barbecue your dad decided to have. I hope this isn't too weird and is fluffy enough to counter the fact that you really don't want to be thinking about Christmas right now as you just know you are going to get Winter Wonderland stuck in your head for the rest of the day. Ok, I'll shut up now, enjoy the cuteness:)

Word count: 1600

It was December the 1st and everything was still and calm in A.Z Fell and co. The proprietor was sitting on the old, comfortable sofa, reading Little Women for the 3rd time and humming gently to himself. The shelves were silent and sleepy and the commuters on the street outside created a gentle hum of activity that felt very far away from this little sanctuary of literature. The sign on the door read 'closed' as it was another hour before the bookshop would open and Aziraphale felt a pleasant sense of calm.

This didn't last very long though as the needle of the antique gramophone suddenly descended onto a record that had previously been Bach's second symphony which began to spin. The music that erupted from the trumpet was certainly not the soft opening notes of a wonderful piece of classical music, but instead, the opening bars of "Merry Xmas Everybody" by Slade, reverberated through the shop.

Aziraphale looked up from Jo's latest exploits in confused bemusement just as his partner came thundering down the stairs yelling "Does he ride a red nose reindeer!?!" At the top of his lungs. The angel blinked slowly as he took in the normally suave demon who had spun round and skidded to a stop before him, aggressively waving jazz hands.

His usual leather jacket had been replaced with a particularly hideous Christmas jumper in a bright shade of red as the main part and relatively striped red and green sleeves. On the front was an elf with a cheeky looking expression and devil horns. Above it read the message "I've been naughty!". As if this wasn't alarming enough, this was paired with knee high socks in matching stripes and the bottom of a velvet red skirt trimmed with white fur which was assumingly connected to a santa dress under the headache inducing jumper. On his head, crowley wore a santa hat and bauble earrings hung from his ears. His usual black sunglasses were gone and in there place he the wore tacky light up Christmas tree shaped ones. He was grinning widely and looking very much like a child at Christmas, which I suppose he was.

"Hey Aziraphale!" He beamed at the rather taken aback celestial being who was staring at him with his mouth open and threw sparkly gold tinsel round his neck.
"Close your mouth dear, it makes you look like a fish." Joked Crowley, teasingly. Aziraphale closed it with a snap and tried to stop his brain from shortcircuting.
"Are. Umm.." he started to speak and then stopped, still not quite processing what was happening, "Are you alright dear?" He managed to say.
"Me? Of course I am! I'm more than ok!! I'm tickety booooo!"

Aziraphale's forehead scrunched together in concentration.
"Right, yes. Good. Um."
"Are you alright angel?" The redhead smirked cheekily.
"Yes. Well, I mean. Have you suffered a brain injury that I should be aware of?" His tone was so intensely sincere in its concern that Crowley couldn't help but double over with laughter. This did nothing to help the growing unease that Aziraphale was feeling.
"You haven't been possessed have you dear? What in heaven is going on?"