Ineffable Husbands Being Adorable Idiots

Eating for two

I don't think there are any warnings as this is just pure fluff:)

Word count: 1500

It was a very good job that it was half term as Crowley had to spend the whole day in bed as her body adjusted. She fell exhausted into bed at 10pm and slept deeply until 10 the next day. Aziraphale cuddled up next to her and brought her endless cups of tea which were much appreciated but also meant that she had too get up to go to the loo every hour or so which was very strange as having a bladder was another new experience and it had taken her at least 10 minutes to work out how to actually use the damn thing.

At 2 o clock Aziraphale was sitting up in the bed with Crowley draped carefully across his lap. He was reading to her, habit that they had picked up rather early on in their marriage as Crowley loved the sound of her husbands voice and found reading difficult on account of her snake eyes so it was a lovely way for Aziraphale to share his favourite hobby with her. Today, they were reading the chronicles of Narnia because it had children in it and Crowley was feeling more and more broody.

"Girls aren't very good at keeping maps in their brains", said Edmund, "That's because we've got something in them", replied Lucy." Read Aziraphale and they both chuckled appreciatively. There was a sudden gurgling noise and they both looked at each other and then at Crowley's stomach which burgled again.

"What's it doing? Is something wrong?!?" She asked worriedly, placing her had over it. Aziraphale laughed, "I believe that was your stomach rumbling dear."
"Rumbling? Why would it be rumbling?" She scrunched her eyebrows together in confusion.
"I believe that your body is more human than demon right now darling and I think that is it's way of telling you that its hungry." Crowley shifted so she was pushing herself up on her elbows, facing her partner.

"Hungry? Now that's a new feeling. Kind of empty and churny. Hmm." Her stomach grumbled again and Aziraphale started to get out of the bed.
"Where are you going angel?"
"To get you some food dear, are you coming?" She accepted his outstretched hand and was pulled up. She wobbled a bit and collapsed against Aziraphale who steadied her carefully.

"Are you ok dear?"
"Ngk, just a bit lightheaded. Give me a second." She sat down carefully on the corner of the bed and closed her eyes, trying to regain her balance. Aziraphale hovered anxiously next to her, his hand resting gently on her shoulder.

After a few seconds, she reopened them.
"Alright, I think I'm ok now. Help me up will you darling?" He did so and she clutched onto his arm tightly, looking slightly pale.
"Would you rather I just bring you something in bed dear?" He asked worriedly.
"No no, I need to get used to this new body. It'll do me good to get out. Give me a sec, I'll summon some clothes." She clicked her fingers and nothing happened.

She looked at her black silk nighty in annoyance. There was a faint golden glow around her which faded quickly.
"Right, now why didn't that work?"
"Maybe you arent supposed to use miracles on your body at the minute?" Suggested Aziraphale.
"Ug, well that's annoying." She clicked her fingers and a neatly folded black knee length dress appeared on the bed.
"Well at least I can still do some miracles. You'd better help me get this on, I dont have much experience putting on proper clothes and I already feel like shit."
"Of course dear."

Aziraphale was more than willing to help as he had been feeling rather useless up until that point. It took a lot longer than was normal to change from a nighty to a dress but at least she had been sensible enough to not summon skinny jeans which would have been impossible.

After half an hour of giggling and swearing and having to sit on the bed to catch her breath, she stood in front of the floor length mirror and took in her appearance critically.

"It's a bit crinkled but at least it's on. That's going to get very trying after 9 months." She sighed slightly and pulled at her messy hair.
"So you think that you'll have a normal human pregnancy then?" Asked Aziraphale, voicing a question he had been wondering about most of the night as his wife lay peacefully beside him.

"Well, I seem to be annoyingly human right now so I assume so. Well have to wait and see to be sure though. Whatever happens, I know it will be ok as long as I have you at my side." He smiled at her lovingly and stepped forward to kiss her gently.
"Forever and always dearest." She beamed at him as he stroked her hair softly.
"Oh yes, could you tie my hair up please? It's making me feel rather hot." He did so and then watched in bemusement as she summoned a dark red lipstick and began to apply it carefully.

"Is that really necessary dear?" He asked, laughing.
"But of course! I'm not the sort of woman who goes out without lipstick angel. It's a good job that I enjoy doing my makeup by hand, it would be annoying to have to learn from scratch." As she was speaking, her stomach grumbled again.

"I appreciate that you want to look your best dear but we really should get you some food. The cafe down the road has a lovely selection of lunch stuffs."
She nodded and allowed him to lead her out the door and into the aforementioned cafe.

"Hello Mr Fell... Mrs Crowley." Smiled the waitress, quickly assessing Crowley and deciding that they were probably female today. They were regulars at a lot of establishments in the small town and the staff were quite used to Crowleys fluctuating gender.

They were shown to their usual table next to a small window in a quiet corner.
"We really should get that changed to Crowley Fell angel."
Mused Crowley as she perused the menu.
"Maybe but then again it would be awfully confusing to the students dont you think to have two teachers with the same name?"
"Good point, plus, it would be weird for you to be Crowley." She laughed.

"Ngk, I'm so hungry!! I feel like I could just eat everything on the menu!"
"Well you are eating for two now dear although its probably a bit early for that. Remember that your eyes are probably bigger than your belly."

In the end, she ordered a salmon and cream cheese bagel and he had a goat's cheese and roasted vegetable sandwich. Crowley ate her food with the same relish that Aziraphale usually did and he smiled as she made a pleased noise.
"Oh wow, this is so much better than food usually tastes. I get why you like it so much now angel." She said through a mouthful of food. He laughed and took a bite of his own meal, wiggling happily.

"I'm glad dear, although don't eat it too quickly, you'll give yourself indigestion." She complied and slowed in her shoveling of food into her mouth.
"Hmm, it's just so good though! And besides, I always eat quickly." She wiped her mouth on the sleeve of her purple cardigan and Aziraphale tutted and handed her a napkin.
"Yes, but usually you aren't quite so human dear. You have a digestive tract now." Crowley pouted in annoyance but had to admit that he had a point.

By the time the last crumb of cake had been swallowed, she was feeling much better and the lightheadedness had very nearly disappeared entirely. She leaned back in her chair happily.
"How are you feeling dear?"
"Round." She replied and he laughed.
"Come on the, let's get you home." He waved the smiling waitress over, told her how much they'd enjoyed the food and asked for the check which he paid, leaving a generous tip before taking his wife's arm and leading her back to their sweet little house.

Little meaning 5 bedrooms, a conservatory, 3 bay windows, a library, 2 offices, a large dining room and 2 decent sized living rooms. What's the point in collecting wealth over 6 thousand years if you arent going to spend it?

They spent the rest if the day snuggled happily on the sofa, Crowley drifting in and out of sleep as Aziraphale's warm voice washed over her. In the evening, they went for a lovely meal at their favourite Italian restaurant and when they went to bed that night, they were warm and very very happy.

An, am I enjoying writing pregnant Crowley immensely? Absolutely so there will probably be quite a few more chapters along those lines:) have a lovely day and look after yourself💛💛 take a leaf out of the ineffable husbands/ wifes book and read something nice (fanfiction probably) and eat something scrumptious😊😊