Ineffable Husbands Being Adorable Idiots

From Eden

Warning: this is a lot of quite intense angst, sorry! Subjects of loss, grief, amnesia and heartbreak.

An: this does not fit into the rest of my oneshot storyline headcannon thing that I've got going on. Basically, I read a fic where they talked in Eden before the wall and I really liked it and I thought it made sense as the conversation on the wall made it feel like they already knew each other. Anyway, here's one way that could have gone.

Word count: 3000

The light streamed golden and warm through the dancing leaves of the apple tree. It was warm, all the days had been warm, and the air was pleasant with a soft breeze. The grass grew, green and whispering, the sun shone down like l
Dancing honey and everything was peaceful.

Two figures ran splashing and joyful through sparkling azure water. These were Adam, the first man, and Eve, the first women. Their perfect paradise had not yet been shattered by the burden of knowledge and as they say, ignorance is bliss.

Removed from this scene, another figure sat watching them. This figure was not so blissful as he had known the weight of hardship and his paradise had been broken into a thousand confusing pieces that he could not quite grasp. Despite this, a warm feeling of happiness still rested gently on him.

He was dressed in a simple white robe, the innocence of naked humanity already hidden and unwelcome to him, and his white blond hair caught the slanting evening sun till it shone with a halo like light.

His legs were carefully folded in a most elegant way beneath him, the cool bark of the apple tree at his back and he was observing in contented silence.

Everything felt soft and dreamlike, the distant splashing, the gentle rustle of leaves and the pleasant sunlight all making him feel slow and peaceful. His thoughts passed languidley, like warm treacle and he smiled at the wonderful images that danced like smoke at the corners of his mind. He wasnt quite sure if they were memories or simply daydreams but the auburn curls and laughing face were comforting non the less.

Suddenly, his peaceful reminiscing was disturbed by the alarming appearance of a large black and red serpent which dropped down from a branch above to curl in front of him.

"Oh hello!" He said with a start and blinked in uncertain confusion as the snake rearranged itself into a black clod humanoid figure. He was still in that sleepy, dreamlike state and he wasnt really the violent sort which explained the lack of smiting. Plus, he had a horrible feeling that he had put his sword down somewhere and wasnt entirely sure where that was. He would have to sort that out later.

"Hello angel." The auburn haired creature smiled at him and he felt his heart flutter in the most concerning manner considering the nagging suspicion that he was conversing with a demon.

"Are you the demon sent to cause mischief and unrest then?" The figure looked themself up and down contemplatively.
"Yes, I suppose I am rather. Crawley." The demon stuck out his hand and he looked at it sceptically.
"I don't think I ought to shake hands with the adversary dear." Even as he said it, he knew that it was probably the wrong thing to say as he was almost certain he oughtnt be having a pleasant chat either and reminding the demon that he was the enemy and that he probably should be malevolent or damn him or whatever demons do was almost certainly an awful idea. He was also slightly worried that he had just called him dear as though it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Oh come on Aziraphale, don't be like that. I'm still the same old devil you've always known, even if I do wear slightly more black now."
Aziraphale lept to his feet and stared at the demon in shock. The demon just raised his eyebrows.
"What in heaven do you mean by that? And how do you know my name!? You, you, you fiend!" He settled on the insult after some consideration.
"What? Of course I know your name you imbecile, I'm the one with the name change, not you. And what in hea, hell, do you think I mean by that? I mean, dont pretend that you dont like me anymore just because I accidentally happened to end up on the wrong side. You are pretending aren't you?"