Depressed Magcon Imagines

Hayes

Author's note: Hi guys :) I just wanted to give you a little background information before you read this imagine. This imagine focuses on orthorexia. Unfortunately, not as many people are aware of this eating disorder; however, it is still just as serious as any other eating disorder. Just because those suffering from orthorexia may look physically healthy, their health may actually be deteriorating and mentally they are crippled.

Here's a quote from www.nationaleatingdisorders.org :

"Those who have an 'unhealthy obsession' with otherwise healthy eating may be suffering from 'orthorexia nervosa,' a term which literally means 'fixation on righteous eating.' Orthorexia starts out as an innocent attempt to eat more healthfully, but orthorexics become fixated on food quality and purity. They become consumed with what and how much to eat, and how to deal with 'slip-ups.' An iron-clad will is needed to maintain this rigid eating style. Every day is a chance to eat right, be 'good,' rise above others in dietary prowess, and self-punish if temptation wins (usually through stricter eating, fasts and exercise). Self-esteem becomes wrapped up in the purity of orthorexics' diet and they sometimes feel superior to others, especially in regard to food intake.
Eventually food choices become so restrictive, in both variety and calories, that health suffers - an ironic twist for a person so completely dedicated to healthy eating. Eventually, the obsession with healthy eating can crowd out other activities and interests, impair relationships, and become physically dangerous."

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You climbed up the stairs to yours and Hayes' apartment. You had just finished your routine morning run, and you are looking forward to making your green, chia power smoothie with acai berries. Over the past six months, you have totally renovated your lifestyle. You used to sit around all day absorbed in your phone and eating a plethora of junk food; however, now, you are the perfect picture of health. You do high intensity workouts for at least two hours a day, and every morsel of food that touches your lips is packed full of nutrition. When you think back to your old ways, you are disgusted. You can hardly believe that you ever let yourself act like such a nasty slob. When you're around other people who are eating, you feel absolutely superior to them, because while they are eating food that is terrible for their bodies, you are eating the purest, most natural, super foods available.

You opened the door to your apartment and were completely floored at the sight you saw. Hayes was sitting at the kitchen counter, the same counter that you prepare all your healthy meals at, eating Taco Bell. Your insides burned with anger and repulsion.

Hayes looked at you as if nothing was wrong and continued to chomp down whatever "food" it was that he had ordered. You slowly walked toward him, not restraining yourself from letting all your frustration show clearly on your face.

"What. do. you. think. you. are. doing?" You said, pronouncing each word sharply and slowly.

"Eating..." said Hayes with a mouth full of burrito, "what's wrong with you? I'll share some of my food if that's what's wrong..." Hayes said, still obviously missing the point.

That last remark really set you off. You couldn't help being severely offended. Your last string of patience snapped.

"NO I DON'T WANT YOUR FOOD. 'FOOD' AS IF YOU CAN EVEN CALL THAT FOOD. HOW DARE YOU INFECT MY COUNTER WITH THAT FILTH! I PREPARE MY CLEAN FOODS ON THAT, AND NOW YOU'VE DESTROYED MY PERFECT SPACE. I'LL BE DISINFECTING THIS FOR HOURS!! I WON'T BE ABLE TO TOUCH YOU UNTIL YOU'VE HAD A SHOWER, AND I SURE AS HELL WON'T BE ABLE TO KISS YOU FOR A FEW DAYS. I CAN'T LET THOSE TOXINS INVADE MY BODY! DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW RUDE YOU HAVE BEEN?" You would have kept screaming, had Hayes not interrupted you.

"Woah, woah, babe, calm down. It's not a big deal" Hayes said, trying to calm you down.

"NOT A BIG DEAL! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY PUT IN--"

"Shh, baby, I'm sorry. Will you please just take a deep breath and listen to me? I have something really important to say"

You could see Hayes truly meant what he said: His eyebrows were pulling together and you could see his fingers jittering slightly as a response to stress.

"Okay, I'll listen" you said, sitting in the stool next to him.

"Babe, I know you've been trying to be healthy lately, and I totally think that's a great thing. I want you to be healthy. Of course I want you to be healthy, but being healthy is more than just a physical thing. Now please, just hear me out when I say this--I think that now, you're maybe so healthy, that it's actually unhealthy. You have never missed a workout in the past six months, not even when you had bronchitis! You still forced you body to go through two intense hours of working out! If we've been gone all day, you still refuse to order something from a restaurant--even if we haven't eaten for ten hours. Not even during the holidays did you let yourself indulge in any sort of treat. And now it's gotten to the point that you don't even really want to go out any more, because you're scared there won't be any healthy food where we are going. Today, I really saw just how much your mentality has been impaired. Food isn't the enemy, (Y/N). Junk food isn't some deadly poison that's going to kill you on the spot. Conventional, non-organic, produce is perfectly okay to eat. I'm not saying you have to go crazy and eat junk at every meal, I'm just saying that it would be completely fine if you did once in a while. I love you, (Y/N), and I just want to see you be happy. I haven't truly seen you smile in a while, and that's really such a shame, because your smile is most beautiful one I have ever seen."

You looked deep into Hayes' wonderful, blue eyes and lost it. You could no longer keep yourself together. You started balling, as you finally allowed yourself to truly recognize that you had a problem. You had known this for a while, but you always pushed it to the back of your mind. Now, you let it all sink in.

Hayes pulled you into his chest and held you tightly as he let you sob it all out. You calmed down and pulled away from him.

"You. are. incredible." you said, smiling widely at him. "I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. Thank you so much for being patient with me and caring for me. I understand what you're saying Hayes, and I know it's true. I know I've taking things a bit too far. Thank you for helping me to realize that." You said , and leaned forward and kisses Hayes.

Hayes kissed you back, and pulled away, smirking.

"Twenty minutes ago you said you wouldn't even think about kissing me for a few days. I guess I'm just that irresistible, huh?"

"Oh stop yourself," you said, playfully hitting his chest.

This time, Hayes leaned down to kiss you and his hand rubbed the small of your back. His kisses traveled across your neck and up to your ear.

He whispered, "I love you, (y/n), in a way that was so tender and warm it made your insides burn with giddiness.

"I love you too, Hayes"