Depressed Magcon Imagines

Shawn

Shawn has been your boyfriend for a few months. You are absolutely in love with him, and he is completely in love with you. The only people not happy with this relationship, are his fans. Everyday you get hate, telling you that Shawn could do much better and that you are so ugly. So, you took those comments, and tried to prove them wrong. Everyday for the past three months you have exercised, put make up on, and put on a completely adorable outfit. You have tried to make it hard for anyone to find anything wrong with you, but they still do. Today you woke up, as many other mornings, to the sound of your phone buzzing. Notifying you with a lot of hate comments. You decided that if you can't be pretty, you were going to make yourself flawed, in a way where nothing can fix it.

You rolled out of bed and walked to your office that you usually do your homework in. In there, you store crafting items as well. You pulled out an x-acto knife and disassemble it so that only the blade was in your hands. You walked back to your room and stood in front of your full body mirror. You saw what the fans saw for the first time. You thought to yourself that that there was no denying the fact that you weren't as pretty as a model, and that Shawn deserves someone who is better than you. You took that blade and glanced at yourself one last time before you started to rip into your skin. Everywhere. You weren't trying to cut systematically, you just dug the blade in every where you could. There were slashes all over your arms, your chest, your stomach, your thighs, your calves, all going different directions. After cutting for about a half hour you finally stopped. You sat on the ground trying to catch your breath. Once you had calmed down, you looked into the mirror. You had blood dripping down your entire body. You could see the cuts all over, and you knew that one day they would be white scars littering your body. You started to cry. You cried because you were ugly, your cried because you weren't good enough, and you cried because you thought that Shawn would definitely leave once he found out about what you did.

Suddenly you heard a knock at your door. You were surprised because you didn't even hear anyone walking up the steps, or entering the house. The door handle twisted and the door was pushed open. Shawn stood in the door way with his mouth wide open. He didn't know what to do, his mind wasn't comprehending what happened. When he finally processed why you were sitting on the floor with blood all over and cuts on your body, he rushed to your side. He picked you up and put you in his lap. He cradled you while you started to cry again.

"I'm so sorry" you said in between sobs.

"(Y/N), what are you sorry for. You have no reason to feel sorry. I'm the one that should be sorry. I wasn't here with you when I should have been. I didn't even realize you were struggling with anything. I'm such an awful boyfriend, (Y/N). I'm so sorry"

You calmed your breathing down and the tears stopped falling. You pulled back and looked him in he eye.

You said, "No, Shawn, you're a wonderful boyfriend. I'm the one that is inadequate. I'm so ugly and there's not many good qualities about me. You deserve so much better, Shawn. I'm sorry for wasting these past few months of your life. You can tell me to leave, I'll understand. "

Shawn gave you an incredulous look and pulled you into him tightly. You felt like you were at home.

He whispered in your ear, "(y/n), you are the most beautiful girl in the whole entire world. Apart from your beauty, you are also the nicest person. You are such a special and unique individual. You are composed entirely out of good things. I couldn't imagine my life with out you, and I don't want to have to. Any world where I'm not with you, is not a world where I want to be. I love you so much and I truly mean it when I say you are the best thing that has ever happened to me."

He kissed your cheek and rubbed your back. Then he stood up with you straddling his waist and brought you to the bathroom. There were so many cuts on your body in so many places that it would take too long to clean you up at the sink. So he started the shower and you both took your clothes off. You and Shawn stood under the shower water and he started to clean your cuts up. It really stung under the shower water and you winced in pain. When he was done cleaning up all your cuts, he cupped your face and he brought his lips to yours. You remained in this intimate setting for a bit and then dried off. You put on some really loose pajama clothes, because anything tight would hurt too much. Then you and Shawn got into bed and you fell asleep with his arms wrapped around you and him quietly singing to you, feeling loved.