Depressed Magcon Imagines

Jack G.

You and Jack walked out of the restaurant. You pulled open the door to the car and slid into the drivers seat. Jack sat down next to you and grabbed your hand.

"Happy birthday, (y/n)! I know I've said that a million times today, but your birth is something that needs to be celebrated. With out you here, I don't know what I would do with my life. You're so amazing, (y/n), I love you. Did you have a good birthday?"

You clenched your jaw shut because you didn't know what to say. You wanted to fill the silence with the truth that you've been wanting to tell Jack for a long time, but at the same time, you were tempted to let rosy painted lies paint a happy picture for him. The truth was, today was just another day for you. It was harder than the day before, and you know tomorrow will be harder. The past six months of your life have been a constant battle, and at this point, you're ready to give up. You can't handle life anymore.

"Soooo is that a yes or a no....?" Jack said, a little concerned with the silence.

You put the car in reverse and made your way out of the parking lot before you answered him. You didn't know how to get it all out, so instead, you said the only word that was making sense to you at the moment.

"No" you let that word hang in the air and you felt Jack's hand tense around yours.

"Babe. I- I'm so sorry. I tried to make today fun for you. I feel so bad. What did I do wrong? Was it something I said?" Jack said nervously

"No. No, Jack, stop. It was nothing you did. You're perfect, and you're great. I love you."

"Babe, tell me what's wrong. I'm here for you"

"It's nothing, Jack. I'm fine, I'm always fine." You subconsciously ran your free hand over your hips, feeling all the fat, and feeling all the scars.

Jack noticed that and said, "Babe, you're perfect. You are absolutely gorgeous. You're more stunning than any girl who has ever walked a run way. Don't ever think badly about yourself because I promise you are the literal incarnation of perfection. "

"No! Just stop okay!" You felt your walls cracking. You were about to let it all go. "I'm not perfect, Jack. I'm fucking not. So don't lie to me. I'm an fugly ass piece of shit that doesn't deserve you. You wanna know why today sucked? Because everyday sucks. Because everyday I wake up feeling as if weights have been tied along my body, yet I'm forced to trudge along dragging them behind me. I go through out my day feeling numb with the cold that has settled throughout my bones. I didn't like today, because I don't like any day. Because there isn't a fucking reason to celebrate 16 years of life on this insignificant rotating speck that sits in an insignificant spot of the ever expanding universe. God, I can't do this anymore! The worse part is, I know I technically have no reason to be upset. I technically know that my life is 100 times better than tons of people out there, yet I can't bring myself to feel anything except this tired hopelessness that completely consumes my body and tears me apart from the inside out! "

"Babe, babe. Calm down. It's okay, it'll all get better. Just slow down. "

"No it's not fucking okay! It's not getting better! Nothing is going to change. I don't want to do this! "

You slammed on the gas, partly on accident and partly on purpose. You wanted to slam you foot down, but you didn't want the car to lurch forward. You weren't planning on hearing the screeching, grinding noise of the car metal connecting with the stop light pole. You weren't planning on hearing Jack scream your name as the car made contact with the pole, as the air bags shot forward.

When the metal stopped grinding, it was as if the whole world stopped for two seconds, but then reality came back. You looked yourself over and realized that somehow your were okay.

"Jack!" You screamed, terrified, and prying to God that he was still alive.

His eyelashes fluttered open. Amazingly, you both had survived the crash.

"Oh thank God, Jack. I thought, I thought I lost you. I love you so much Jack!"

"(Y/N), I love you too. You know that feeling you just got when you thought I wasn't okay? That same feeling is the way I feel when you put yourself down, when you talk badly about yourself. That's the feeling I get when I see your eyes off into the distance, knowing that they're filled pain. I hate seeing you hate your life, and I want to do everything in my power to help you get better. Please. I love you. "

Before you had the chance to respond, you felt your body being pulled out of the car. You didn't even hear the sirens pull up. You and Jack were taken to the hospital, just to make sure everything was actually okay. All of the police officers and hospital staff told you and Jack how lucky you were to be alive and well.

You left the hospital the next day, and you could feel something was already changing inside of you. You didn't quite know how to describe it, but Jack could see it too.