Depressed Magcon Imagines

Nash

Nash went out with the boys today and left you home alone. The house is too quiet, and your thoughts are too loud. You are getting lost inside your head and you don't know how to get out. It feels like you are literally wrapped inside a cocoon of sadness, loneliness, and hopelessness. You can't stop yourself from thinking about all your failures and how much of an embarrassment you are. You are convinced that nobody loves you, and that nobody ever will love you, not even Nash, your boyfriend of 8 months.

You can't handle all of the thoughts. You run down to your basement, where the liquor is stored. You pull out a bottle of jack and a bottle of absolut. You grab a shot glass and fill it with jack. You bring it to your lips and quickly drink it. You repeat the same steps over and over, alternating between whiskey and vodka. All this time you have been sobbing loudly, practically screaming. You're mind is running wild and you don't know how to stop it, you can't stop it. You've taken about 10 shots and by now you are sufficiently drunk. You keep drinking though. Your plan is to keep drinking until you can't think, or until you pass out, that works too.

You're about to take your 15th shot when you hear the door to the basement fly open.

"Babe! What's wrong? I could hear you crying from upstairs?" Nash yells as he runs down the stairs. He sees you and runs over to you. He takes the shot glass out of your hand and picks you up. You wrap your legs around him and he sits down on the floor. You just keep sobbing into him and he rubs your back.

He whispers in your ear, "Baby I'm right here. I've got you. I'm here for you. Tell me what's wrong so I can fix it. I love you."

You keep crying until the tears run dry. You're left puffy eyed and your throat is hurting. You're also drunk, and you begin telling Nash about your depression.

"Nash, I've been wanting to tell you, but I just didn't know how. For the last 5 months I have been suffering with depression. I feel like I can never be happy. Even when happy things happen, I don't experience the emotion like I used to. These days I feel empty and numb. I don't know how to describe it in literal terms, so instead I'll give you a metaphor. It's like I'm in an ice cold lake with my head barely above water, frantically flailing my limbs just so I can barely breathe the little air that I can. When I'm left alone, it's the worse. Today when you left, depression enveloped me."

He just looked at you with his big blue eyes and a tear escaped from him, rolling down his cheek. He hugged you and said that he was going to do his best to make you feel loved, and to make you feel happy. He tightened his grip around you and you felt so secure and safe. He lifted your face to his and gently kissed you. Gradually his kisses became harder and more passionate. He pulled away and carried you upstairs. He sat you on your bed and wrapped both you and him in a blanket. You fell asleep with your arms around each other and your head on his chest. For the first time in months, you felt a flutter of something good in your heart.