Depressed Magcon Imagines

Hayes

You were sitting in the hotel waiting for Hayes to get back from his event. You and him had been dating for 8 months now, and you'd been traveling with him to all of his events. You were proud of Hayes, but sometimes, you wished that circumstances were more normal. You were imagining what life would be like with Hayes if he wasn't famous, when your phone started buzzing. The noise snapped you out of your daydream and you grabbed your phone. You knew what it would probably be, but you checked any ways. It was fangirls tweeting hate at you, just like you thought it would be.

"Oh my god, you are such a slut. Get away from my Hayes!"

"Seriously you need to get your thotty ass away from him. You're ugly as fuck. I can't believe he puts up with you."

"Can Hayes just break up with you already? We all know the only reason your'e still together is because he's a nice person and feels bad for you. No one will ever love you. There's nothing lovable about you. Just leave him alone you annoying little bitch."

The last one stung. You started thinking about it and realized that it was probably true. Tears started running down your face. You loved Hayes so much though. You thought that you were so stupid to even believe that such an amazing person like him would love you. You looked at yourself in the mirror and saw that there was nothing to love. You hated your stomach, hips, thighs, and face. You started thinking about how Hayes could do so much better than you. You thought that he deserved someone much prettier and skinnier than you. You were filled with so much emotion. It was like nothing you had ever experienced before. You felt the need to relieve all the pressure that was building up inside of you. You got this strange urge. You wanted to hit something but you didn't know why. You tried pushing it away but the desire only became stronger. You took you hand and curled it into a fist. You hit your knuckles on the hard wall and it felt so good. You kept hitting the wall and your hand started to bleed. You started punching yourself too. You hit you shins and your hips and your chest. You didn't know why this made you feel better, but it did. With every hit, you felt a little better. It was only temporary though. New waves of feeling kept washing over you.

You started screaming and pulling at your hair. You realized that for the past eight months you had been holding in so much emotion. You had taken so many emotional hits, but you just stored the feelings away. They were all coming back now. All kinds of different memories flashed through your brain. You couldn't take all the pain. You were sobbing so loudly and you were lying on the floor. You dug your nails into your skin, desperately trying to free the demons. You cradled your head as you drowned in sadness, hopelessness, loneliness, embarrassment, anger, and another feeling that you didn't know what to call.

Hayes and the guys walked into the room while you were still sobbing out of control. Hayes saw you and rushed to your side.

"Leave," Hayes instructed all the other guys, a little more harsh than he wanted to sound.

They left and Hayes pulled you into his chest. He picked you up and carried you to the bed. He sat you in his lap and you buried your head into his chest. He rubbed your back and went to grab your hands. He grabbed them and you sucked in a breath and the sudden pain. He pulled his hands away quickly, realizing that your hands were hurt.

"(Y/N), honey, did you do this to yourself? Oh my god, baby, no. You're too beautiful. I love you so much. I can't bear to see you hurt. Tell me what's wrong. I'll fix it for you, love. " Hayes whispered into your ear as you started to calm down.

You pulled back and he tucked a lock of hair behind your ear. His blue eyes gazed into yours, yearning to hear your voice.

"I was reading hate and one comment really hit me hard. It wasn't the usual 'you're so ugly and fat. You're a slut.' comment. It was more than just surface level. It said that you didn't really love me, you just felt bad for me so you were pretending. I started thinking about that and then I realized that they were probably right because you could do so much better. Then all of these memories came back to me and all the feelings started washing over me. I didn't know what to do. I started hitting the wall and hitting myself, just trying to escape the feelings. Then you and the guys walked in and saw me like that. I'm sorry Hayes, you're probably so embarrassed of me. I'm sorry. "

"Baby, how could you think that I don't love you? I love you more than anything and anyone I have ever loved. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Being on stage and performing and meeting fans makes me so happy, but absolutely nothing makes me happier than being with you. I could never ever stop loving you. I could talk for hours about all the things I love about you, and I'd never run out of things to say. Please believe me, and please don't ever hurt yourself again. I love you."

Hayes brought you down to him and kissed you. He ran his hands down your sides and rested them on your hips. He kissed you with so much intensity and passion. You could feel everything that he was feeling, you could feel his love for you. You pulled away and pressed your foreheads together. You smiled at him and he smiled back, his eyes filled with love.