Winning His War

16

Andrew's POV

"I think you're actually getting better," Patrick said as he sat at the breakfast bar, watching me as I attempted to make dinner. It was only some weird white brothed chicken soup that Jem had figured out a while ago but I was still having problems with it.

"Am I even doing this right?"

"Does it feel right," Jem asked, his voice coming out more teasing than I would have liked.

"Not really," I sighed.

I had only been trying to figure this out for a few minutes but the kitchen was already a mess.

Jem chuckled at my misery before leaving the stool he was sitting on and joined me in the kitchen. He had been attempting to only walk me through it but clearly my skill level wasn't good enough for that yet.

"You're actually not doing all that bad, you're just messy so it looks bad."

"Well that's comforting," I said with a small eye roll as I watched Jem fix everything.

I had expecting things to be kind of awkward between all of us but surprisingly it just felt relaxing.

Jem's words had been simple but what implied meant a lot more.

"I'm polyamorous," Jem explained as he shifted his weight from one foot to another. His eye bore into mine as I sat stiffly on the couch while Patrick sat on the recliner on the other side of the living room.

Patrick's face had been hard to read since we sat down but after Jem said those two words, panic slipped through for just a second before his eyes shifted over to me.

"What does that have to do with anything," I asked but I was pretty sure I already knew where this was going.

I had seen the way Jem looked at me and it was too similar to the way he looked at Patrick.

"I'm fond of you but I'm also fond of Patrick, and I don't want to have to choose between you two. Patrick told me it wasn't fair to keep this from you so it's up to you what happens now. I'm not ready for boyfriends but I also don't want you two to just walk away. If that's not what you want though, if you want or need something I can't give you, then please don't force yourself through it. So, what do you want?"

I bit my lip as I looked away from him.

I had never had a partner. I had really only had sex once and it was with some random girl from my high school. I was drunk at a party and barely even remembered it happening but I remembered that it didn't feel like every guy in high school said it would. It definitely didn't feel like anything Jem did either and he barely had to touch me to make it feel better than that night.

Jem said he wasn't ready for a boyfriend but I don't think I am either. I didn't know enough about myself to jump into something like that already.

Most people find that part out in high school or college but I was too busy working my ass off. If I wasn't working to save for college, I was taking every ACT, SAT, and MCAT I could find, trying to get scholarships so I could actually pay for college and once I got there I was just trying to keep my grades and try to keep myself from going broke.

This could be a step in the right direction at least. I know Jem would treat me well while I tried to figure it out.

"I want to try it your way," I said after a while. I was scared to look up at him but when I did he was smiling down at me.

I watched as he took a few steps closer, practically forcing himself to over me before leaning down, his lips brushing against mine.

"I was really hoping you would say that."

The light brush of his lips changed as he pressed them into mine. I gasped at the feeling but the gentle kiss didn't change.