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Andrew's POV

The funeral had been gorgeous.

It had been set in a clearing on Jem's property, not far from the lake while the grave itself was surrounded by a few others, each covered in shade by nearby trees facing the ever shifting lake.

There weren't traditional flowers allowed, no pre cut bouquets, small potted plants, or dumb small objects. Nothing but potted orchids covered the grave site, each pot and flower was a different color as they let up the dark morning. They were supposedly Mateo's favorite flower. I never even knew he had one.

Whether it was voluntary or not, the whole house came to wake and funeral, which Jem made sure was all done in one day, claiming that Matteo was always cold and being in the freezing cold morgue over night would be disrespectful. The minors who knew Mateo before had been invited too despite the contract but no one had the heart to keep them from attending. A few declined saying they never wanted to see Jem or anyone related to him again. Others demanded to be picked up the second they were told what happened, saying they had to see him, mostly not believing he was really gone.

Of course Jem let them down easy. The story he had told was that Mateo reached out to him and told us everything that had happened to him and a few of his friends before going home and writing his note, leaving Jem as his next of kin and was the first to be notified of his passing.

I could tell the lie had been hard on Jem but I had to agree that it was for the best. The kids didn't need to know about Mateo's darkest moment, it would never help them in the long run and they deserved to remember him as the boy he was before the cruelty ruined him.

The day had honestly been a blur though. I woke up before the sun to the sound of Jem rushing through the halls like a mad man, mumbling under his breath. I don't think he slept more than a few hours.

Only a while later he was forcing me into a suit and rushing us down to the gravesite that he had dedicated to the men and women of his gang that didn't have anyone else to love and care for them after they passed. It hurt knowing people liked that existed but it hurt more knowing Jem didn't have the heart to dump them at a random graveyard.

The service had been short. There was no priest considering Mateo was an atheist so Jem and Dev ended up just saying a few words and invited others to do them same before they moved the casket to his grave. There Barrett had shared a few of his favorite memories of the dead kid before the three of them eased the casket into the ground and dismissing those who were ready to leave.

Liam had come but ended up leaving the second he was permitted to, tears streaming down his face as he ran for Carter, who was his one and only plus one, who was keeping a respectful distance away from those who were grieving. Others who knew Mateo stayed for hours while some only laid down orchid of their own before following Liam's lead.

Patrick and I hadn't left each other's side since the day started. Even after everyone else had left we stood there, side by side, staring at the grave of a child that we failed.

Jem hadn't said a word since we entered the graveyard. His face was unreadable but everyone knew grief was coursing through him as he kneeled in the dirt in an expensive suit, his fingers playing with the head stone he had paid a pretty penny for in order to get it done so quickly.

When the last person left Dev and Barrett followed them out, neither of them saying a word as they did, their eyes trained to the ground.

All I could do was watch Jem as he began to shut down completely until he eventually stood up and looked at us for the first time all morning.

"Let's go back to the house. I promised to cook for anyone who stuck around for the whole thing," Jem said in a blank voice that didn't suit him.

A weight settled in my chest.

The thought had popped in my head the second we came back from Mateo's house and I hadn't been able to get rid of it since.

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