Scared Angel

6. Ouch

        Penny's pov -

       Letting myself fall asleep with Ellie attached to my breast was a bad idea. I woke up with my right nipple so sore since she was using me as a pacifier the remainder of the night. I switch my nipple for her paci as I put some chapstick on my breasts, it's the best I can do for now until I can get nipple balm.
       I sigh knowing I need to get ready for work. I'm a psychologist and hold tele-psych sessions online. I only go into the office once a week to file my notes from my clients and get any files I'll need for the following week.
       I take my first dose of medicine after I leave the sleeping girl in the bed surrounded by pillows so I can go Jump in the shower. Once out I brush my teeth and get dressed before drying my hair and doing light makeup.
       I pick the girl up gently and carry her to the kitchen while lightly rocking her. "Wake up Ellie bells" I tickle her tummy lightly resulting in a whine and cute stretch. I get her a bottle ready and myself some avocado toast with  strawberries on the side. I give her small bites of the strawberries and then bottle feed her while I eat my toast.
         I finish with 10 minutes to my first appointment. I put the tv on doc mcstuffins earning the girls attention and let Lars outside. I leave my office door cracked so I can see her in her sleeper.
       I get my computer set up and sit down before I sigh, I miss her already.
                   
                   ~•~•~•~

             Once half the day is done it's time for my lunch break. I actually have no appointments scheduled until 2:30 and it being just now 12 gives me just enough time to feed and put the baby down for a nap. Over the past 3 hours she's been an angel. I had 15 minutes between each session so I brought her different toys Linus had left each time to keep her happy. I gave her some baby puffs before my last session. She definitely loved the puffs, I check on my sweet Ellie and pick her up.
        She squeals and rubs her face into my chest making me chuckle. "Someone missed me." I tease and get her a bottle warmed as I make us some pesto pasta with peas, I make a salad for my side and toast a slice of French bread.  Ellie gets sliced grapes and dry cheerios with her main dish.
       It's gotten easier to cook one handed. I sing nursery rhymes and dance in the kitchen with Ellie on my hip until it's ready. I put her in her high chair that came today causing her to erupt into screams. I get her a sippy and myself a cup of juice before I try to feed her but she refuses. I end up putting her in my lap and helping her drink her sippy of water.
      After her cries calm I get her to eat half of her plate and half her water before she turns her head. I get her bottle and see it's perfect temperature for her as I put it to her lips. She latched on softly and suckles slowly. I notice her sticking her hand through the buttons of my blouse and she grabs my left boob. I giggle since it tickles but let her drink up her bottle.  Im so alighted she loves these protein shakes as they will help give her some lacking nutrients. Once she finishes she's passed out in my arms, I plop her paci into her mouth and carry her to the living room placing her in her sleeper, I strap her in and cover her with a small blanket and covering her eyes with her baby blankie.
       I check the time and see I have 30 minutes before my next session. Deciding to respond to emails in that time I sit at my desk and get to work.
                   •       •       •
         I let out a very long groan once I shut my laptop for the day. Don't get me wrong, I love my job but caring for a little one on top of my very demanding job is something I'm still new too. I walk into the living room to see sweet Ellie laying awake batting at her toys that hang down from her sleeper. I coo at the sight before I can't take it anymore and rush to pick up the girl. I get her into a fresh diaper and lay on the couch with her on my chest. I'm enjoying the snuggles as I rub her back when I feel her try to latch onto my nipple through my shirt. I sigh and move my shirt and bra before I help her latch, I flinch at the still new feeling but know I need her help to get my milk to flow when it's ready. She seemed content to suckle on my dry nipple as it must have given her a lot of comfort last night.
      I end up falling asleep before Ellie finishes dry feeding.  I don't think I was out long when I wake up to a painful feeling shoot up my breast and up my body. I yelp and sit up fast unlatching Ellie as she begins to cry. "Oh sweet girl, I didn't mean to scare you but don't bite me" I tell her as she looks at me confused.
         My comfort must have calmed her since she snuggles back into me. I hear a scratch at the door and let Lars back in, he sniffs Ellie causing her to giggle. "That's Lars, he's a doggy" i say in a childlike tone for her sake.
        I realize I was asleep for a almost an hour so I carry Ellie upstairs for a bath. She doesn't want me to place her in the water though when it's full and clings to me in the process. I get into the tub with her attached to me like a Koala. She isn't the most fond of me cleaning her body and hair as she grunts the entire time. Once she's all clean i get her out and lathered in lotion before a new diaper is placed on her. She squirms when I try to put clothes on her so she ends up in just a small t-shirt that doesn't even cover her diapered bum.  
        She looks adorable, I coo and tickle her tummy lightly. She pushes me away but it's not a hard push. I stop and lift her back up "I'm such a meanie hm?" I chuckle and bounce her on my hip walking into the living room again.
         I put on Sofia the first for her and lay her on her tummy on the play mat with some toys. While I watch her figure out her baby toys I make a call to the closest Chinese restaurant. I buy myself some dumpling, orange chicken, lo main, as well as some chicken fried rice for Ellie.
        I sit in the floor and play with Ellie's 'pop up pals' toy. Her excitement and small claps when she presses the button and the animal pops up, bring me pure joy. Her butt goes back and forth as she lays still on her tummy. I try to help her sit up but she falls forward on her hands, I'm surprised she's unable to sit up correctly when I've seen her walk, although wobbly. I help her back to her tummy time position when the door bell rings. I get up to get the food making her cry loudly at my sudden absence. She reaches for me and scoots her body back and forth like she's trying to crawl but can't get the hang of it. "Hold on lovebug, I'm gonna be right back." I say rushing to the door.
        After accepting the food and paying, I close the door. It's that moment I look up to see Ellie walking very wobbly towards me before crashing down to the ground. It was almost like her little legs were going too fast for her body to keep up. Her cries become screams as I set the food down and run to her side. "Oh. It's okay baby" I coo and rock her. She eventually calms with my nipple being put in her mouth.
       I eat my food until she decides she's done and looks up at me. I'm mostly full so put her into my lap sitting up and feed her the fried rice. I regret feeding the young girl in the living room as I have a large mess of rice to clean up but she loved the rice so much she did a little dance between each bite. I love seeing her excitement for food but it's sad since it's due to trauma and being denied food. Once she's done and refuses more, I take her to her sleeper and vacuum the couch and floor. 
       As expected, Lars my large Pitt bull/ Belgian malinois runs from the noise but unexpectedly Ellie screams and thrashes in her sleeper. I stop the machine once it's mostly clean and pick the girl up. She grips my shirt so hard her knuckles turn white as I rub her back. "I'm so sorry, buttercup" I bounce the baby and go make her a bottle. Once it's done I return ti the living room to see Lars eating the remainder of rice. I sit down and he curls up next to me laying his head on my feet, I adjust Ellie to lay across my chest and put the bottle to her lips. She latched on and drinks her milk fiercely, I don't believe it's from hunger but for the comfort.
     Ellie is asleep before the bottle is empty, I bring the girl to bed and place her down before I head off to get ready myself. I lay in bed and order more toys for the baby since she enjoyed her hide and seek pop up toy. I order some stackers, hard books, and lots of jingly things.
      I put my phone away and cuddle into my sweet girl. I can't sleep and after a few hours I decide to get up. I'm thinking of all the things that could go wrong. I am enjoying being a caregiver for the girl but I'm also afraid she doesn't want me as her mommy, she has no way to tell me otherwise. I sigh and get the wood together I'll need for the crib.
         My shed is always stocked and I love projects to keep me busy. I get half way through the cribs main build before I start getting tired. I walk to the kitchen and grab an apple to eat while I watch an episode of Dexter.
       Once the episode is over I stretch and yawn while checking the time. 3am...great I'm gonna have a wonderful work day tomorrow. I groan and walk to bed  seeing how adorable Ellie is all sprawled out on my bed with her blankie and frog tucked in her arm. I crawl in with her, she must have sensed my presence cause she rolls over and smooshes into me. I giggle softly and nuzzle close to the sweet baby before drifting off to sleep quickly.