Scared Angel

22. Grandparents

I wake up at 7 in the morning to Elle wide awake staring at the ceiling. "Hey babygirl" I coo but she doesn't move, I feel her diaper and sigh. "Let's get you changed for the day, princess" I say softly and get myself ready once she's in her soft sweater and shorts. I left my shirt off to try to convince Elle to nurse, I'm so full if she doesn't I'll have to pump; I internally groan at the idea. Droplets of milk are beading off my nipples as I sit against my made bed bringing the small girl to my lap. I try dragging my nipple across her lips but she just turns her head with her lips pressed tightly together. "Drink your milkies for mama" I beg her but she just stars back at me with sad eyes. I give up for now and take her to the playpen in the living room.
I get my pump ready and sit on the couch, once my breasts are emptied. I go to the kitchen to get us some breakfast made. I make Elle some oatmeal and myself a bagel with strawberry cream cheese.
    I pick Elle up from the same position I sat her in. I sit her in her high chair, I then give her a frozen strawberry in a teething toy while I eat my bagel; hoping it will increase her appetite some.
       Once I'm halfway through my breakfast she puts her teether down and reaches forward to try and grab my bagel. She doesn't get it from my hand but when she lets go her hand is covered in cream cheese which she licks off with only a moment of hesitation. I smile and give her the last small bite of my bagel and get her cooled off oatmeal.
    After she eats about 1/4 of the bowl, I congratulate her over and over. "Mama is so proud of you." I say making her smile slightly. I gasp, "I missed that darling smile" I coo as I clean her hands and face.
       This time when I lift her up she clings to the front of my body making all the tension melt from my body. I let out all the tears I was holding in and hold her tightly to me as I walk us to the living room, abandoning our dishes. I turn on a random Disney movie and rock her. She doesn't look at the tv, just me, she reaches towards me slowly and rests her little palm to my cheek. "I love you, my angel" I tell her making her giggle "wuv mama!"
The rest of our morning is spent like this, with movies playing in the background as we hold each other.
    Elle is still refusing to eat much for some reason though, and she won't let me place her down without having a fit. As Elle and I are playing with her dollies, my mom calls me. I answer making Elle look up at me from my lap not liking that my attention has been taken away from her. I smile and hold her closer to me in hops it will calm her, she relaxes some and I hand her her paci causing her to lean into me and watch me closely as I talk to my mother. "Hi mom"
"Darling, how is our grand baby?" I look down at Ellie playing with her feet. "She's doing better, very much opening back up" "oh good we're coming over" I sigh "mom you know she gets scared easily. "And we just want to see you both, we won't do anything to make her unhappy" my mom kinda pleads.
I agree and get Elle into a new diaper, when I lay her on the changing table she loses it. She's reaching for me and screaming her little head off, even trying to roll off the table. I struggle to get her changed and back into my arms but once I do she calms immediately.
"What am I gonna do with you" I whisper and get the bottle I pumped earlier out of the fridge and try to get her to latch on she starts to suckle but spits it out. I realize she probably doesn't like the cold so I warm it for her and try again, this time she sucks half the bottle down before spitting it out and burping. I wipe her face lift her up kissing her little face.
It's then the doorbell rings making Elle cling to me again with big eyes. "Hey it's okay babygirl" I coo while standing up with her. I open the door and she hides from my parents as I greet them.
After about 30 minutes we're all sat at the kitchen table. My dad with black cup of coffee and my mom with a cup light and sweet like mine. Elle has not moved from her spot attached to my chest while we chat.
My mom eventually gets her book out and my dad gets a puzzle out and starts putting it together at the table but this does get Elle's attention. She watches intently as her 'op-op' puts it together.
We all have five cheese ziti and Elle eats a few handfuls before she refuses. After dinner I sing her Vienna by Billie Joel. "Sing it gain mama" my baby claps. I end up singing the song 6 or 7 times before I try to say no but it causes my baby to erupt in tears. "Gain gain gain" Ellie bawls. I keep singing but finally get her to latch onto my nipple, her eyes start to get heavy the 12th time I sing the song. Once Elle is asleep my parents say their goodbyes, I lock them out and go to place Ellie in her crib. My phone rings as I'm getting ready for bed "hey Candice" I greet happily. "Hey there, how was your day?" We talk for sometime before it gets a little late. "Hey so I wanted to ask this in person but I can't seem to wait." Candice says. "What's up?" I get curious and sit up in my bed. "Would you be my girlfriend?" Her question throws me off. I pause for a moment and think of Ellie, worried it will throw her back into hiding. "If it's too early..." I cut her off realizing this is about how I feel and how Candice feels...

"Of course I will be your girlfriend."