The King's Artist

Ch 69: There's Love & Then There's Limerence

Breakfast the following morning was a chaotic affair. Bodies moved hazardously through the many rooms grabbing water and bread, scarfing them both down with such gusto that Adelaide was certain someone was going to get sick on the trip to the French Court.

After swallowing the last bite of food, Adelaide slung her bag over her back and headed outside to check on the horses. With Jasper and Henry talking behind closed doors, she wasn't surprised to find Kayden also outside waiting for them to finish. He gave her a curious look and Adelaide found herself fighting a smile. The relief of last night's discussion with Marcus, Anthony, and Theodore had brought her so much relief that Adelaide had slept like a baby. She felt rejuvenated even after the stressful race across the border.

"Good morning," Kayden greeted, stepping up next to her and matching their paces as they walked towards the feeding troughs together. Even after a close inspection, the horses were looking much better despite the arduous journey. They were fed and watered, and recovering nicely, but Adelaide still felt bad for pushing them so hard. The last stretch of their trip would be quick, though, and then they'd be allowed their much-deserved rest.

"You seem rather..." drawled Kayden as they stepped into the small barn. The smell of hay was overwhelming but overly familiar. Adelaide glanced over at Kayden briefly to find him assessing her with a small smile. "Happy," he finished.

She wasn't sure why, but the statement made her laugh in a very girly, high-pitched fashion. It was uncharacteristic of her and Kayden's eyes widened in surprise. But the shimmer in his eyes told her he didn't think it was a bad look for her. Being happy.

And so Adelaide filled him in on the events of last night. She laughed again at the dumb-founded expression on her fellow soldier's face after she finished. Kayden was still speechless as she began to saddle her mare, positioning her bag, and checking the many pockets and straps.

"I can't believe Marcus was able to keep his mouth shut for that long," were the first words out of Kayden's mouth before he barked loudly in disbelief and hilarity. Taking a bucket from nearby, he flipped it over and eased himself onto it. "I'll be honest, though, I'm kind of offended they didn't include me in their little trio."

"I actually asked them about that," Adelaide said as she moved on to the next horse. "They told me they were concerned you would tell Henry. Out of loyalty, that is. And they weren't sure how he was going react to the news so they felt the fewer who knew, the better."

"Yes, well," Kayden began, his tone trailing off a little. At the change in his demeanor, Adelaide paused and turned away from her task. The saddle was gripped loosely in her arms as she looked at him.

"What's wrong, Kayden?"

His sigh was heavy as he leaned back against one of the barn's supports.

"I'm just remembering something unpleasant," he whispered. Adelaide remained silent and unmoving as she waited to see if he was going to explain. "Back then," Kayden began slowly. "I will admit I was distracted."

"By what?" Adelaide hesitated. For some reason, she didn't feel entirely comfortable asking the question. 

"By you," he said simply. Adelaide's muscles stiffened and her throat constricted painfully. She was suddenly very, very thirsty. She opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. So, Adelaide just stared at Kayden unsure of what to say or do. "I'm not proud of it," he continued. His eyes closed as he spoke, but his expression and posture were relaxed. "Even before you told me your secret, I think I was developing an obsession."

"Kayden—"

"Let me explain," he interrupted. Kayden's grey eyes settled on her once more and whatever Adelaide was going to say fell off her tongue, lost in the space between them. He suddenly stood and made his way over to her. "I should have told you this a long time ago."

"Kayden—" she tried again, but he only shook his head.

"I've always found you beautiful, Adelaide. Anyone with eyes could see that, though." His soft chuckle had some of the tension dissipating, but Adelaide's spine was still unnaturally straight. "But after learning you were a girl, I found myself watching you even more than before. And, as a result, I unintentionally built this strange fantasy version of you in my head. It started innocently with me just wondering who you would have been had the Arthur persona never existed, but it grew to something more than that. I fell in love with who I imagined you could have been. But not with who you actually were."

He paused to smile bitterly at her. "I tried multiple times to force you to be who I wanted you to be. Who I thought you were supposed to be. And that was wrong of me. I've wanted to apologize so many times over these past few years, but I never knew how. Until now, I guess."

They were quiet for a moment, a strange silence falling over them that wasn't wholly uncomfortable. Kayden hung his head, his expression a mixture of relief and misery and shame. Adelaide's brain faltered several times as she absorbed his words, but she still wasn't sure what to say.

"I truly am sorry, Adelaide," Kayden whispered. "For everything. For how I've treated you. For how I've treated Henry. For how I've been a terrible friend to you both."

"You've not been a terrible friend," Adelaide snapped, recalling all the times he'd comforted her, held her while she cried, how he kept her secret without question. She shook her head furiously as she waited for him to make eye contact with her before continuing. "You've been an important part of my life, Kayden since I was a child. We've been through a lot, you and I. I'm grateful for knowing you, and I thank God every day that my clumsiness saved your life all those years ago."

At the memory of her tripping into him, knocking him out of the trajectory of an arrow, they both laugh, and instantly any tension, any apprehension, any discomfort between them dissipates like smoke in the wind.

"I'm going to see if they're ready to leave yet," said Kayden after another moment of silence. With a soft smile, he patted Adelaide on her head before turning and leaving her with the horses.

He'd just left the small tavern's barn when Henry took that moment to appear. With a quizzical expression on his face, he approached Adelaide, watching her stare at the space that Kayden had previously occupied.

"You alright?" He asked her as he encircled his arms around her waist. Adelaide immediately relaxed into him, sighing as her back pressed into his chest. She was instantly enveloped by his scent and closed her eyes to absorb his presence.

"I'm alright," she eventually answered. "More than alright actually."

She could feel his smile against her cheek as he bent to kiss her.

"Well then," he said straightening. "Let's go and charm some French royalty, shall we?"