The King's Artist

Ch 35: Reaffirmation

Kayden left early the falling morning. Too ashamed to face Adelaide after his actions last night, Kayden had resolved to stay in the stable with the horse which he had decided to call Crescent after the crescent-shaped mark on his forehead. He stroked the horse's mane off and on throughout the night, trying to keep warm between the blankets and bales of hail.

When the sun had risen over the horizon, Kayden had slipped a note under Adelaide's door with some money and had debarked back to Chateau de Suscinio. His shame still burned on his face every time he pictured the look of shock on Adelaide's face.

Kayden wasn't sure what his motives were or what he had been thinking at the time. His body had moved compulsively, derailing any rational thought that could've disrupted his focus, bringing him back to reality. He was so distracted and focused on the idea of being alone with Adelaide, that he quickly found himself irritated that she wasn't nearly as nervous as him. It was clear she didn't regard him as a threat, which was good, but Kayden couldn't help but groan in frustration that she didn't even seem to be cautious around him. Did she not see him as a man?

The thought made Kayden wasn't to fall off the horse and die.

The more he thought about it, too, the worse his worries and regret became. Kayden wasn't even sure what he wanted to happen with Adelaide. Sure he was attracted to her, found her to be an incredible person, but never once had Adelaide ever indicated she was interested in marriage or even living permanently as a woman. In fact, in Kayden's opinion, her little stunt pretending to be Arthur's sister was her last moment as Adelaide and, afterward, she would return to Henry's side and continue a life lived as Arthur. Of course, the thought annoyed Kayden, but he didn't feel he had much right to intervene or try and get her to reconsider her choice.

Before Kayden could delve deeper into his feelings, the castle appeared on the horizon, illuminated by the sun that was stretching towards the sky. The reflection of the light bounced off the freshly fallen snow partially blinding Kayden. Everything was incredibly white and pure looking. Kayden almost regretted riding over the untouched landscape, ruining the picturesque scenery.

By the time Kayden had dismounted and returned Crescent to the stables, the castle was beginning to wake. The celebration last night had clearly been too much for many, the drinking and dancing haven taken a heavy toll on those not equipped for such a lavish and demanding lifestyle. Many of the maids were late to start their morning chores, guards and other soldiers were sluggish as they ran through exercises and routines, and the fresh smell of breakfast wafted through the air at a much later time in the day than usual.

When Kayden had reached Henry's room, though, he had expected the young Tudor to be as exhausted as the rest of the castle. However, Henry was awake and standing near his window. He was already dressed, his hair clean and freshly cut, and his eyes absent of dark circles. He looked as he usually did: calm, collected, and pristine.

"Did you two make it there okay?" Henry asked, not turning around from his position across the room. Kayden was fairly certain Henry had watched him arrive, crossing the moat and courtyard. Few people would walk into Henry's chambers without knocking.

"The weather could have been better," Kayden admitted, securing the door behind him before taking a seat in the plush couch that Henry had recently had to his room. A nice, rich fire burned in the fire pit warming Kayden pleasantly. He stretched out his fingers and felt life return to his body. His joints gradually stopped aching, and his teeth stopped chattering.

"I see you reentered the castle pretty easily," noted Henry.

"Well, you were correct," Kayden said, leaning back against the couch and feeling sleep begin to tug at him. "Everyone's too busy recovering from their hangovers to pay attention to me."

"It was quite a thrilling party," stated Henry, humorlessly. Kayden raised an eyebrow as Henry sighed and turned away from the window. He took a seat next to Kayden and began staring intensely into the fire, the flames casting dark shadows over his features.

"You never have enjoyed parties very much," said Kayden softly, clapping a hand on Henry's shoulder. Without much strength in his arm, though, Kayden let his hand drop quickly back to his side. Now it was Henry's turn to raise an eyebrow, looking at Kayden as if he was a stranger.

"I don't think I've ever seen you looking so tired before," observed Henry, a small smile of surprise playing on his face.

"It was a long night," was all Kayden said in response. Henry didn't push the subject and only shrugged, leaning back into the warmth of the couch.

"I've been meaning to ask you, Kayden," Henry spoke, his voice casual. Kayden's eyes fluttered as he fought off sleep, but he did his best to give his entire focus to Henry, who rarely asked questions on any sort. Kayden couldn't keep the curiosity off his face as he observed the other man. "When's your birthday?"

Kayden wanted to laugh at such a sudden inquiry, but Henry's face was serious, no traces of a joke in sight. As if he had been splashed with water, Kayden sat up straighter, turning towards Henry with a tad bit of disconcertment on his face.

"Why the sudden interest?" Kayden asked almost cautionary. Henry rolled his eyes and leaned forward onto his knees.

"I'm just trying to get to know the people close to me better," admitted Henry heavily. "It's recently come to my attention that I'm rather self-centered with a certain degree of attentiveness lacking. I'm trying to correct that flaw in my personality."

"This doesn't happen to have anything to do with Adelaide, does it?" Kayden asked knowingly, also leaning forward onto his knees. Henry sighed heavily and nodded.

"It at least started with her. The more I considered it, the more I realized that I just didn't really know anything about her. Moreover, then it came to my attention that I don't really know anything about anyone. It's as if I've built this wall around myself and everyone else, enabling anyone from getting too close or allowing myself to care too deeply about them," continued Henry, his voice aged and his entire body looking depleted. Kayden felt concern stab him in the chest violently and his throat constricted with sympathy.

"I wouldn't say that you don't let people get close." Kayden tried to lighten the atmosphere, but the lie in his voice was apparent and unconvincing. Henry shot him a look, and Kayden felt the next line of defense struggling to leave his lips. "I mean, you know the names of everyone in the castle. Also, didn't you, at one moment, advice Adelaide that she needed to make a connection with the people that she drew? That she needed to care about the subjects of her paintings?"

"I did say that," Henry sighed heavily, recounting the memory with some cloudiness. It felt like that horseback riding trip had happened an eternity ago. "But just because I remember a few names doesn't mean I'm any closer to them, nor does telling someone they need to make more meaningful connections mean that I'm good at forming my own. Besides, I've always been better at giving advice than listening to it."

"I still think you're a pretty amazing person, Henry," Kayden admitted honestly, smiling at him sincerely. "Serving you these past few years has been a real honor for me. You may not let people get close to you, but it doesn't mean you don't care about them. I know personally that everything you've ever done has been done with the Lancastrian people in mind. You may consider yourself self-centered, but I've always looked at you as selfless. You're not even a Lancaster and yet you've been fighting for them, sacrificing everything for them, before you were even a man."

Henry looked up in surprise at Kayden's words. The older man further astonished him with a hand on his shoulder and a tight, reaffirming squeeze. Henry wasn't sure why he found the action so comforting. He nodded his head in gratitude, though, placing his own hand on Kayden's shoulder and returning the pressure.

"And to answer your initial question," Kayden continued. "My birthday is on April twenty-sixth."

Henry's eyes widen a little at the information to Kayden's confusion.

"That's odd," Henry said mostly to himself. "What are the chances that your birthday is the same as Adelaide's?"

Kayden felt his heart successfully leap from his chest at the newly acquired bit of information. A disgusting warmth of joy flooded him unexpectedly. Hiding the smile that lit up his face was almost painful.