This Little Light of Mine, Shine Oh Shine

Chapter 2: Too Much, Not Enough

Maggie has a tough case that brings a couple of unwanted memories back. She has been able to deal with it before, will it be the same this time?

Maggie's little side makes a cute appearance :)

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Maggie is still at the station getting through the last of her paperwork to seal up some loose ends on a case she has been working through for the last month. The detective grows quite frustrated with the amount of work she has left. She just wants to go home to her girlfriends, cuddle and relax with her two favourite people.

The case involved domestic abuse. The perpetrator was an Alien male and his then-girlfriend (survivor) who happens to be human. Maggie feels like the only reason this case got anywhere near the courtrooms was because the perp was alien. It sucks how xenophobic people still are in this day and age, and towards other races, of course, Maggie herself is walking proof that the only colour acceptable is white, all the others are deemed dirty and less than. If the perp was human and the victim alien, I'm sure they would find a way to spin the situation and end up pressing charges on the victim instead. Oh, the fucked up society we live in.

At least this time their racism worked out for the best? Bull shit, I know, life fucking sucks.

I really just want to go home and snuggle under blanky in the middle of the couch sandwiched between mama and mommy, I want to-

"Dammit Sawyer, get it together," Maggie mumbles under her breath. This is not the time or the place to feel vulnerable and small right now.

It's quiet, most have gone home for the weekend. The weekend crew doesn't show up for a couple more hours and even then it would most likely be a slow night.

The detective looks over to the large round clock on the wall, squints a bit due to the low lighting in the bullpen.

Maggie noticed she still has about an hour of paperwork to go, she has to try and finish if she wants to make it home on time.

She grabs her pen and jots down her notes on the sheet for the courts. Twenty minutes in, her world starts to go misty.

The words jumbled together and floated away like summer days clouds. It's the feeling she always gets when she is on the cusp of a drop. She has tried to fend it tooth and nail, she denied ever being a little. She almost lost her relationship with both her girlfriends when they pointed out some of her child-like habits. She thought she did her best to hide them.

Deep down, the detective knew that she was different, she never could put a name to it, but when they did, it solidified what she feared. Vulnerability. Maggie Sawyer is a strong, badass detective, not a child wanting to be held and taken care of without a care in the world.

She shut them out after the gentle confrontation. They coaxed her back though, and little by little they broke their little one out of her shell. She still fights dropping most times, still wanting to keep some semblance of control in her hectic life. This isn't something she would really choose to do, but she knows it's a part of her that won't go away, no matter how hard she tries.

Other times she can't be bothered to fight. She lets them take care of her. They are on somewhat of a routine when she does drop, and other times its chaos.

She shakes her head and presses the heels of her hands into her eyes, just enough pressure and a bit of pain to get her out of the soft headspace she so desperately wants to dive into.

She squints her eyes and moves the paper closer to regain her concentration.

Her soothing thumb makes its way towards her mouth without thought. So used to having it as some sort of comfort at home, having her other side fighting to be free.

The tip runs smoothly on her bottom lip, inching closer and closer to the inside. It eventually makes it halfway inside her mouth. A few gentle sucks in and out, the thumb bobs a little, dampened with her saliva.

The sound of the air conditioner turning on rattles her out of the trance.

She flings her hand from her mouth and looks around subtly for anyone turning her way.

She calms a bit, the Latina goes to bite down on her cuticles instead.

Lexi and Sammy really hate it when you do that. They know it hurts because you bite so deep and realize it too late to stop. They try and try to get you to stop and do something less harmful but it doesn't stick when they aren't around to correct you.

Maggie grunts at the thoughts and goes on to try to complete her paperwork. The letters still float here and there but she thinks she's making progress.

........🐝🐝🐝🐝........ 

I usually would upload once a week, but it felt weird leaving off on a chapter that didn't contain any little side fluff so here is a little taste.

Leave suggestions and comments, also any tags you think I forgot!!