This Little Light of Mine, Shine Oh Shine

Chapter 51: Eureka?

....Day Eighteen, Luthor-Danvers Household....

Kara wakes up to the sun slowly filtering through the blinds Hope opens on the dot at nine every morning on weekdays.

"Hope, I'm really not in the mood to get up right now." Kara slams her face back into her pillow and Hope chirps close the blinds.

"I will close the blinds Ms. Danvers, but to let you know, it is almost eleven in the morning."

Kara's eyes bulge and she shoots ups from her position. She goes to wake up Lena who should be next to her but she feels the spot empty and ruffled cold. Kara quickly dresses in more clothes and searches for Lena. It's not Lena to leave the bed like this, especially when she was emotionally raw and little the night before.

Kara did not expect the girl to be sitting half asleep in front of the television with Oliver glued to her side watching Luca.

The Kryptonian carefully sits next to the girl making sure not to startle her. She lays the girl's head down on her lap and she cards her fingers through the smoothed out almost black locks. Once she is sure that Lena is indeed back asleep, she exchanges her fingers for a pacifier.

Kara for the most part uses this time to search through the websites that Alex gave her and orders some stuff she thinks Lena would like. Later on in the day they will go through it and make sure that it's something she is willing to try and/or use.

Kara changes the movie to some weird reality tv show and this is the time Alex chooses to call her.

The reporter doesn't even greet her sister, she doesn't think she has the energy for pleasantries.

"Hi Kar," The redhead says somberly.

"Hey Al." Kara breathes out a sigh.

"Sam crashed last night, they didn't tell me till I got in this morning." Kara can sense the underlying question in Alex's non-judgemental tone.

Kara leans her head back against the couch and closes her eyes. Keep up with the ministrations of her hand in her little's one's hair. The only thing that seems to be keeping her together is the soft sounds of Lena sucking. "I'm sorry," Is all Kara can get out. Of course she feels guilty, and she is ready for her sister to rip her a new one, but the yelling doesn't come.

Alex sighs, her voice is strained and Kara can hear her heart pound. "I didn't call you to be mad at you Kara. I would never be mad at you for this. I- I know that it's hard as is, and listening like that, I know it isn't easy."

She feels so dumb, so unbelievably idiotic for being on the verge of tears right now. It's hard never feeling like you're allowed to turn yourself off. It's hard hearing every goddamn thing around you. She feels so selfish because she has these powers to help people and all she wants right now is to be normal, she just wants to walk by a public bathroom without being bombarded with smells and to take a nap without hearing sirens fifty miles away. Sam is her friend, one of her favourite people and she just turned her back on her. It hurts because she feels so guilty for wanting not to feel it all.

"I feel- I feel so selfish. I am so sorry, Rao Alex I-" Kara can't possibly hold all of these emotions in anymore. She can't be strong anymore, she is tired of having to be strong.

She sobs, she brings the phone away from her ear so Alex wouldn't have to listen to any of this. She tries not to stir the girl below her awake but before she knows it, Kara is enveloped in a hug and the phone is taken away from her.