Her Worst Contract (LOA 2 #2)

CHAPTER 36

The next day I wake up, with a heavy chest knowing that this is the day I'd go back to the world I used to live in. The industry where him and I met and the industry where him and I fell apart.

I slowly stood up from the bed, walked towards the bathroom, and took a bath. After taking a shower I dressed up and did my makeup and then I faced the mirror.

I slowly lift my hands onto my face, at hinaplos ko ang aking pisngi pataas sa aking peklat. It was like a sharp and small streak on my face that was trying to hide under my makeup.

Just like the pain I've been through, they never disappear, they are always this visible inside my eyes.

Huminga ako ng malalim kasabay ng pagbigat ng aking pakiramdam, pagkirot ng aking puso at panlalamig ng aking buong katawan. Dahan-dahan 'kong ibinababa ang aking kamay at tiningnan ito dahil sa walang tigil na panginginig.

It was shaking on its own. I can't even have the strength to control it and stop it because the fear and pain just shattered my whole soul and body, and I can't even have the right to control my body.

I feel so suffocated, surrounded, and clasp into the agony of the past.

Ipinikit ko ang aking mga mata at dahan-dahan huminga ng malalim at sinubukan pakalmahin ang aking sarili. Hanggang sa hindi ko napansin na unti-unti nang nanlalambot ang aking mga hita at niyayakap ko na ang aking sarili dahil sa matinding lamig na aking nararamdaman.

Lamig na nililikha ng aking isipan na tila nagbabalik sa akin sa nakakatakot na puntong iyon ng buhay ko, kung saan lahat ay parang lupang inililibing ako sa sakit. Madilim at nakakapanghina.

Tumulo ang aking luha habang yakap ang aking sarili, iminulat ko ang aking mga mata at muling nakita ang dating Elliouse na kilala ko sa repleksyon sa salamin. Tila parang multo ito ng kahapon na pilit kong tinatakbuhan.

I started losing breath and my chest was heaving up and down while staring at the mirror.

I was gasping for air and everything around me just darken and I just felt like I'm in the shallow water, slowly draining and making it hard for me to breathe. Like a fish out of its water.

I panic when it gets worst, hindi na talaga ako makahinga ng maayos. I looked around to find my medicine but the door suddenly opened and I met his gaze.

His calm and gentle stares suddenly fade and change it with fear, agad siyang lumapit sa akin at ng hawakan niya ako. Agad akong bumagsak sa braso niya.

Sinalo niya ako at agad inabot ang aking gamot na paroxetine, he helps me drink it. Binuhat niya ako at inupo sa gilid ng aking kama bago lumuhod sa aking harapan.

Habang sinusubukan kong habulin ang aking paghinga ng maayos, hinawi niya ang buhok ko at inilagay ito sa likod ng aking tenga at pinagmasdan ako na parang isang napakahalagang bagay sa kanya na tila ayaw niyang mabasag.

"Why do you always making me worry to death," nanghihina niyang bulong at hinawakan ang aking mga kamay. He sighs and rests his forehead on my lap and I watch him breathe in and out.

"I'm scared, Bunny." he whispers, ipinikit ko ang aking mga mata ng tuluyan na akong kumalma. Dahan-dahan niyang inangat ang kanyang ulo at pinunasan ang aking luha gamit ang kanyang panyo.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

Agad siyang umiling, "No, you don't need to be sorry with your pain, I understand you and I'm always here to understand you, and save you in your agony, even if it will take me a lifetime to wait, I will do it for you Bunny." tumayo siya at inalalayan ako sa pagtayo bago hinalikan ang aking noo at sinabi.