Elysium

Chapter Twenty

I stumble upon two pair of shoes as I walk into the apartment, almost tripping on a pair of black badly worn laced boots.As I walk further down the hall it starts to smell like scented candles and I can't help but remember how Sadie would away purchase some cheap candles for Zayn to keep his room from smelling unpleasant.

Zayn's room was basically Sadie's.They hung portraits of strangers from the park a couple blocks from our building on the walls. Some were happy others were sad. I fairly remember them hanging up the painting they made me paint for them. It was nothing compared to their work but they always encouraged me to try and draw, everyone is an artist.

She was always around and I recall asking her why she wouldn't moved in with us. She spent most of her time with us anyway and her small apartment in the city wasn't cheap for she was living on her own with no roommate and tuition at NYU was not affordable either. She never really answered my question, so that still remains unknown.

The closer I get to the guest bedroom, I notice Carters room light is on and her door wide open. A loud laugh interrupts her mid sentence as I hear someone walking closer to the door.

I quickly walk pass the room but before I can head any further, I hear someone's feet start to get closer and I am gently pulled back by my left elbow.

Harry stands before me. His red colored lose button up with strange black imprints make me cringe for a moment but as I observe him more I come to realize that he can really pull it off.

His long hair curls the way it was just days ago but by the way he keeps running his hand through, explains why it's slightly greasy.

"Hey, where have you been?" He quickly ask's with a smirk.

Carter soon appears and leans against the side of the door frame, winking at me and leaving us alone.

"Just wen't for a walk." I lie.

He squints his eyes and I feel as though he knows I am lying to him. I keep eye contact and avoid giving my flushed cheeks attention.

"With who?"

Well see Harry, I've actually been with Liam all day, we had dinner together and came back to his house after finding out my father is searching for his only daughter only to find myself in between Liam and his very own door.

I begin to laugh at my stupid thought of answering his question. He gives me an odd look. His eyes squint and eyebrows furrow together as he takes a step back and moves towards me once again.

He leans in, too close for comfort and ask's "Are you fucking drunk Leah?" in my ear. The small air that releases from his mouth when he speaks tickles and my body responds quickly as I begin to laugh again. He laughs along with me, but he's still too close for comfort. I can feel his chest vibrate, as its lays against my own. The wide smile he flashes when I look up is unbearable.

"No Harold. I am not drunk, for one wouldn't my breath smell like the cruel substance." I reply while pushing him away.

He stumbles back, but soon balances as he gently holds on to my arm. "I'm joking Leah. I actually stopped by to have a small talk about last time?"

Last time Harry was here things got very tense and I will admit I was a bit hurt by his reaction to my plan. It shouldn't hurt me coming from a stranger from Harry, because in reality he is a stranger, yet I feel like I know him well. The guy is very charming and that charm is what intrigues anyone that encounters him.

We sit down on the couch, his facial expression when he see's how ugly it still is makes me wan't to throw a pillow at his face. I lean back as I cross my legs. He doesn't sit far from me and stretches his arm out so that it sits on top of the bigger pillow that seem to come with the sofa. He abruptly holds my legs and places them on this lap. I scold him silently but the position is actually comfortable.

"I just wanted to apologize about last time, I was a bit rude and hope that I didn't hurt your feelings." He speaks slowly as he begins to tug his lips with his forefinger and thumb. The tugging leave them a bright shade of red.

We stay silent as he seems to concentrate on what he will say next by staring at the small white table in the middle of the living room. The wind blowing the white curtains in front of the small window interrupt his thoughts as he looks back at me with furrowed eyebrows and back at the table once again.

"I guess I envy you." He whispers.

"Why would you envy someone like me?" I start to question him, because I really don't see why someone would envy me. I don't give anyone a reason to feel such a way.

He doesn't respond for a while but looks upset.

" I see a little of me in you." He begins to slowly stroke my legs. The action making the situation more comfortable and calm.

"I had plans for my future as well you know Leah? I wanted to finish uni, go on to do better things, but what I longed for the most was traveling. At a certain point I wanted to give up on everything and just educated myself by traveling, seeing what is out there without the need of being tested on some sort of standardized test. The real test would be those hardships I would find myself in, and my grade would be evaluated by the distinct ways I found to succeed."

Hearing this from him struck me hard. I never thought to ask him if he was still studying or doing something he actually enjoyed to do. From our conversation, he loved being a bartender. He loves the interaction with different people, and the truth they speak while under the influence. He even mentioned all the different stories that he walks out with when he decided to clock out. He even mentioned that he made a decent amount, but I never gave thought as to what he truly saw himself doing because I genuinely believed this was what he desired to do. It was selfish of me to think so.

"And why didn't you?"

"Leah." He savors my name before giving me an explanation. "Because people like me were always around. The doubters. My parents. Look around Leah, the people you and your cousin surround yourself with come from a wealthy background. Liam, Carter, Niall, Ali, Kai, Kyson, Ty and Beck. Their parents have it all Leah, if they don't succeed they have someone to fall back on. Their parents are there to help them, they wan't them to do what they please because they have made something out of their family. My parent's rely on me Leah, I'm part of the reason they still live under a roof."

The more he speaks the more I come to know the true person Harry is. He doesn't know I come from a wealthy background as well and a part of me hopes he never finds out because I'm sure he wouldn't be revealing these things to Carter or anyone of her friends for that matter.

"My parents act as though they are fine without me, they think they're holding me back from what I desire, but I'm not selfish enough to leave, when I know they need me." His eyes lock with mine as he waits for me to speak. To say anything that will encourage him to do what he's been longing for.

Instead I stay silent. I'm not good at speaking, I stutter, I communicate better when writing, my voice doesn't shake but my hands do. Out of anger or nervousness, the reader themselves can tell what I feel just by they way it's not only structured but by my handwriting, and the way it changes as I continue to express myself.

Without saying much I begin to stand. He looks worried but I assure him, I'll be back.

Upon my return he looks at me curiously, my journal in hand and pen look odd especially when we were just vocal about our feelings minuets ago.

I slowly sit myself down and bring my legs up to my chest and use it as not only a desk but a way to hide the words and expressed feelings I am writing to him. He keeps his eyes on me as he observes me carefully.

When I'm done writing, I rip the paper out of my black leather journal and hand it to him. I observe him carefully, as he takes in each word and slightly smiles at some parts of the written advice.

"Thanks." He chokes as he quickly embraces me. I lay my chin against his right broad shoulder. The small gesture was something I needed, oddly enough, his embrace reminded me of someone else.