Chapter Twenty-Four

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The light air emitted from his vehicle hits my skin soothingly, making it almost impossible to keep my eyes open. I wish I could just drift off and sleep after everything that just happened. I'm trying not to focus on it too much but in some strange bliss I find myself thinking about it. I found the solution to everything but silence and time has allowed unwanted conflict to lurk around aimlessly. Thinking about how I am going to approach Carter again is making me anxious. "Leah?" Harry finally speaks. The whole car ride had been silent until this very moment. I guess he was correct about car rides, they are good for the soul. "Do you always runaway from it?"

Runaway from it? I don't know how to answer his question, simply because I can't. I have never thought about it. I guess I do runaway from everything. From my father to my old friendships and relationships. As well as aspirations. Shit, do I ever face anything that is thrown at me? Do I ever stay to see the outcome of what I have caused?

"I guess I do." I turn to look at him, his eyebrows knit together while his lips are pursed into a thin line. He brings his hand up and starts to rub his chin. "I mean, I don't face what I need to. It's like an instinct to just turn my back and never face what needs to be solved. I did it to my father, to my friends! I even did it when it came to my education. I just got up and left everything unfinished." I can't continue to look at him, his facial expression changes dramatically and I'm frightened at the thought of what he will say next. Instead I turn my attention to the the forsaken sidewalks and I begin to wonder who walked upon them today. Where were they going? Did they having a good day? Were they genuinely happy? Was someone walking with them? I remember how much walking I had done back when I lived in New York, it was something I had to adapt to quickly.

I enjoyed it although I would arrive home with what felt like shattered bones from my feet to my neck. My father would have never allowed me to wonder around California, like I did when I lived in the city. In fact I remember the year my father had stopped making time to drive me himself to school and had paid someone else to do so. Melvin was his name, he was much older than my father. His wrinkled, sun kissed gentle skin along with the small hints of grown out white hair gave that away. I loved everything about Melvin, I would always ride in the front seat of the car and enjoyed listening to his oldies. Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Nat King Cole being his all time favorites.

I will never forget our conversations as he would drive by the beach in a hurry to accompany my father for dinner with one of his many business partners. My father enjoyed Melvin's company as well. He never admitted it but, he always invited Melvin and his beautiful wife Lois into our house. They were present from birthdays to holidays and even family gatherings. They appreciated my father's invitations and loved to speak to us about the misadventures they had in their lifetime.

In fact I never witnessed my own father smile until Lois and Melvin came around. Specifically one lonesome Christmas Eve, all my fathers workers were excused but welcomed to spend the holidays with us. They never did, but Lois and Melvin arrived as they promised me they would. Melvin wore his elegant black suit with a red button up and his classic brown Oxford wingtip shoes. Lois looked impeccable as she wore a black Billion Dollar Baby Wiggle Dress. Her short curly hair and red colored lips contemplated her dark skin. I remember them speaking of the time they were not accepted for being an interracial couple.

Lois had it bad, for her parents kicked her out of their home shortly after they discovered the man she had always spoken about was Melvin. Upon graduating Melvin got a job and went on to Harvard. They didn't see each other for almost a decade. When Melvin graduated from Harvard, he got a job and returned for Lois. They were able to afford an apartment and moved in together. Lois was unable to have children but, Melvin made it his goal to make their marriage last with or without them. I remember thinking how ironic it all was. My father's marriage failed but he had me where as Lois and Melvin had each other but no child.

I recall them telling me how difficult it was for them to live together during the first two years of marriage, the only thing that kept them going was the music and love they had for it. They told us about the countless of times they danced out of anger. In fact I remember telling my dad to purchase their favorite records of all time, which they received that very same thing for Christmas. Melvin couldn't contain his emotions when he had opened my father's present. He instantly got out the old record that contained Nat King Cole's hits. I remember dancing with Melvin with a sheepish grin plastered on my face as my father and Lois both swayed blissfully to "Too Young" one of Melvin's all time favorites. After having our turns my father and I sat silently on the couch as we observed the couple dance to "Lets Fall In Love." They way they held each other tightly and the way Lois would rest her head against his shoulder made me wonder where they would be if they had chosen to never get back together after having the world bicker and judging their love all because of the color of their skin.

Lois and Melvin not only impacted my life but my fathers as well. Leaving them behind was the hardest thing I had ever done. I promised to visit as often as time allowed me too but, instead I moved on. I made promises I was clearly aware of not keeping. Guilt once again makes itself present and I can feel my tears threatening to escape. Some of the best humans I have encountered, and once forgotten have probably been left with some sort of resentment for not asking me what Harry just did. When at the end of it all it's not there fault for the countless of reasons as to why I keep leaving. It's all me.

"Leah, you shouldn't think about it too much babe. You will return one day and face it all when you feel this little thing we call valor. Don't feel like you cocked up for not being able to face it. Your instinct is to run, so what? You do that to prevent yourself from getting hurt, no one should blame you. Can't really blame someone for taking action and doing what best for them." He speaks calmly as he looks at me and back at the road. I don't know how to respond so I just nod to let him know that his words have been acknowledge.

He begins to parallel park close to a black small car. The building is not familiar to me in anyway but he promised we would leave if I felt uncomfortable when meeting a few of his friends who lived nearby. I actually think we are closer to Carter's apartment than we are to Kyson's. We begin to cross the street and make our way towards the door of someones town house.

Harry calls his friend to inform him that we are outside. We wait in silence for someone to appear behind the black door. After a long wait the door swings open and when I turn my attention to see Harry's unknown pal. Only to discover that this friend of his friend isn't any stranger; it's Matthew.

"Leah?" He's astound by my presence but soon smiles as he tucks his curly hair behind his ear and welcomes me in with a tight hug. "You know Leah mate?" Matthew lets me go as he grabs Harry by the arm and pushes him inside. He waits for me to come in and closes the door rather loudly.

"Ya, wait how do you know Leah?" Harry asks Matthew while he begins to take his shoes off. I look over at Matt, he shuts his eyes tightly and lets his head fall back. "I met her at that small restaurant close to where you work? Fuck mate, I forgot the name." He struggles to remember and leads us to the living room where Ollie lays asleep. I remember him clearly. He stood out from the rest of the boys, he was tall and had dark roots with blond hair. He still had his headphones connected to his ears, I wanted to take them out so badly but had to hold myself back from doing so. "Fuck mate I really don't remember the name of that stupid restaurant. Take a seat anywhere. Do you guys want anything to drink?" Matthew offers us as Harry encouraged me to take a seat next to him. "No thanks." We respond in unison but Matthew brings us a cup of water anyways.

He seats himself across from us and begins to smiles while Harry begins to get more comfortable, laying his back against the soft sofa.

"Small world Leah." Matt states as he brings his cup up to his plum lips, taking a sip of his water to wash away his thirst. "Small world, indeed." I respond looking over at Harry as he closes his eyelids and begins to breathe steadily.

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