Finding Home || bxb

26

"You might get a little upset if I tell you," I admitted. "It's not a pleasant story exactly..."

"Oh..." I was still laying on his chest, his arm around me securing me in place. He was still very much naked, but I'd pulled the covers over us now because he seemed a little cold. "If you don't wanna talk about it, really it's fine."

"It's okay, it's just a little weird for me when I think about it now," I tried explaining before I got into the story. "Basically, I was 14."

Not completely unheard of but it was still ultimately a little young to have lost it. I didn't really think much of it at the time though. Someone liked me, and it was the first person I felt like really liked me after my parents passed, so I was a little starstruck.

"Oh, okay. I know someone else who lost it at that age," Roman replied. I wonder who it was, not that it mattered.

"When did you lose it?" I asked wanting to know his story too.

"When I was 17, couple months after my birthday. It was with one of my first girlfriends."

"Was it nice?" I'd turned the main lights off a few minutes ago, so we were now bathed in the red glow of my LED lights. Roman was staring up at the ceiling at my glow in the dark stars which also provided a little bit of illumination.

"Yeah, it was actually really nice. A little awkward for both of us but we managed to laugh it off 'n stuff. Not the best sex I've ever had, but a good way to lose my virginity."

"That's good." I was glad that his experience had been so nice.

It wasn't necessarily that my first time was a bad experience though. It was just, not what should have happened... And it's really only in the last ten months of my abstinence that I really figured out that what happened to me, with the first guy I was with and all the others after, was not something that should have happened.

"So, you were 14?... who was it with? Why isn't it a pleasant story?" Roman asked.

I buried my face further into his chest so I could try and muster the confidence to tell him. "He was older."

"Oh... how old?"

"19."

"He was 19?!" Roman questioned. "And he had sex with you while you were 14?" I nodded. "Wh... did he know how old you were?"

"Yeah, he knew."

This is why it was weird, because by law my first time was statutory rape, including every other time I had sex until I turned 16. Then, it just became morally wrong that guys in their twenties, a few even older, were so interested in a teenager.

Roman sat up before I could even register that he was moving. He sat crossed legged in front of me, so I did the same and faced him.

"But that's..." he began but didn't finish. He probably wasn't able to say it. That's okay though, because I'd never really been able to say the words out loud either.

"Yeah... the 'R' word. Thought it was fine at the time cos I consented, you know? Didn't realise that I technically couldn't consent at that age."

"I'm so sorry that happened to you babe," he said bringing his hands to the sides of my face and leaning our foreheads together for a moment. I climbed into his lap and straddled him and let him hold me as he leant his back against my headboard to get more comfortable. My cheek rested contently on his shoulder.

"It's okay. It actually wasn't too bad. He was... he was pretty sweet with me to be honest. He was gentle and-"

"-He's disgusting," Roman said cutting me off. "No 19 year old has any business being interested in a 14 year old. I'm 19 and I couldn't even imagine..." He made a disgusted noise that made me flinch. "It makes me feel sick thinking about it."