𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔇𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫'𝔰 𝔇𝔬𝔩𝔩

Part 41

"I want to be with you, it is as simple, and as complicated as that."

Charles Bukowski

Fyodor's lip curled at what he had just heard escape Kate's lips. She was going back? To them? How could she after everything they had done? She was always better than him, this proved it. She was leaving so that they wouldn't have to worry about her anymore, she was leaving so that it would all end for good. He loved her but that wasn't enough to make her stay.

"Why?" He questioned her betrayal aloud, not expecting an answer that would satisfy him.

"Because I don't want you to be hurt by me any longer. This is what love is, isn't it? I allowed myself to be burned by you over and over again and now I'll give anything up to be burned by you again." She stared him in the eye with one of her signature smiles, soft enough to allow him to feel the grace of God.

"That's not an answer and you know it." He glared at her.

"Because no matter what I do, my end is certain. Please let me do this to give you an advantage." She pleaded with a soft voice.

"An advantage?" He hissed. "Having you at my side is my advantage."

"Miroslav didn't betray you and he has all the necessary information; I know he wouldn't allow himself to be killed. Not to mention, I know you kept records of all the phone calls made between myself and everyone; you're always in control, aren't you, my clever demon?" She grabbed his face tenderly. He unknowingly leaned into her touch, the warmth being something he missed. It seemed that no matter how much she warmed him with her touch, it would never be enough-- he would always, always be cold without her.

"But you gave me strength, you were my new purpose!" His voice cracked as he confessed. Kate's eyes widened.

"I needed you just as much as you needed me." He continued softly.

Fyodor's confession made the entire room grow silent. Everyone had taken the weight of this blow, from Ivan and Nikolai to Kate. Their Dostoy fell in love with someone that wasn't them. This hurt, yes, but how could they be upset with him? They too had fallen for Kate Chopin. Fyodor loved her unconditionally while he loved them to an extent, if you could even call it love.

Fyodor was a man with whom love was an unknown concept. He had known that others experienced it and he was aware of its presence in the world but he never really had felt it before. This foreign feeling was first introduced to him by Kate, even when he hated her. It was easy for him to hate someone and love them because he was never in love with them. But with Kate, he had always loved her and then he fell in love with her and doomed himself to suffer because of it. A mouse caught in a glue trap suffered less than Fyodor did because it knew all it had to do was lie and wait for death; Fyodor was able to fight against it, despite the fact that he would never win.

"What was it that destined us for sorrow? Why did we have to fail?" He asked, hanging his head.

"We didn't fail." She smiled as she placed her hand over his. He looked up at her and he could've sworn he saw a halo around her head. He was making her holy again but how could he not?

"Kate, come wash up, you'll get sick." Nikolai grabbed her arm and gently led her away from Fyodor and Ivan. Fyodor knew he would take good care of her and he was right so he didn't bother in trying to stop them.

When Kate reached the bathroom after much-restrained difficulty in climbing up the stairs, she smiled at Nikolai kindly. He smiled back and opened the door for her. As she was walking by him, she stopped and turned to him.

"You'll have to forgive me but I've been lying ever since I got here." She whispered. Nikolai's eyes widened as he struggled to comprehend her words' true meaning. However, he understood when she collapsed into his arms.

"Ivan!" He called for the servant, knowing that he would be much calmer than Fyodor at that moment despite he was also most likely going to freak out. Two pairs of footsteps rushed up the stairs and after Ivan.

"What happened?"

"Is she going to be alright?"

"I... I don't know." Nikolai shook his head as he looked at the young woman in his arms. He didn't have the answers they were looking for, nobody did except for Kate herself and she was currently incapacitated at the moment.