eating disorder - tw

8.5K 161 34
                                    

Warnings: eating disorder, panic attack, depression.
Words: 2888
Age: 17

Y/n:
I recovered from my eating disorder about 2 years ago, but something like that never truly leaves you. I mean of course you can get better and get healthy again, but every now and again that voice slips back into your head and tells you that you're not good enough or that you have to earn your food.

Overtime I got better at not listening to that voice, even though some days it takes everything in me not too.

My mom was and still is my biggest supporter, and she will do everything in her power to make sure I'm safe, happy and healthy.

No-one apart from my mom knew about my eating disorder. I didn't want anyone to know, because the more people that knew, the more people I felt like I would have to get better for and I didn't want that kind of pressure. I wanted to get better for me, because my mom showed me that I was actually worth getting better for and she made me feel safe through my whole recovery.

—————————

Mom had been on a mission for the last month and a half and still has another 2 months to go. What sucks the most though is that I've barely been able to contact her. I've been trying my best not to slip into a dark place again, but everyday is just getting harder and I'm so exhausted.

Whilst mom was away, Wanda and Steve have been looking after me the most. Not that I necessarily need them too, but they're there to cook for me and help with homework etc. Mom felt safer leaving me alone when she knew that someone would be 'looking after me.'

—————————
(1 week later)

I started working out more because I needed a distraction from my mind. Well I keep telling myself that at least. I work out 3 times a day, after breakfast, lunch and dinner. I hate everything about my body, I can't look in a mirror without crying. I can't sleep either because my mind won't shut off. I have a million thoughts racing in my head at once and I can't keep up and it's driving me crazy, I feel so out of control.

Last week everyone but Steve left to go on a mission, they'd be back before my mom but still gone for another week.
I think Steve has noticed something is up but hasn't said anything about it, yet.

My alarm went off for school and I realised that I had been laying on my bed for the last 6 hours staring at the ceiling lost in my thoughts.
I dragged myself out of bed to get in the shower.

I sat at the bottom of the shower letting the hot water fall onto my body. I didn't do anything except sit there lost in my own head. It wasn't until Steve knocked on the bathroom door and told me I was running late for school. I quickly turned the water off and got dressed into a hoodie and sweatpants before heading downstairs to ask if Steve could give me a lift.

I got to the kitchen to see Steve reading the newspaper whilst drinking his coffee. "Morning Steve, if you've got time do you mind giving me a lift to school?" I asked in the hopes that I wasn't disturbing him. "Of course." He smiled. "Thanks." I said returning a soft smile. "Are you okay y/n, you look very tired and pale?" he asked, concern lacing his voice. "Oh yeah I'm fine, I just didn't sleep much last night." I said, my voice reaching a slightly higher octave. I get that from my mom, she does that when she's lying too. "Do you wanna skip school? I won't tell your mom. We can just watch Netflix all day if you want?" Steve asked. As much as that sounds nice, I knew that if I stayed home I'd have to eat, which isn't something I particularly want to do today. "As nice as that sounds Steve, I've got like 3 tests today so I kinda have to go." that wasn't exactly a lie, I just exaggerated the truth. I do technically have a test today, just not 3.

Natasha Romanoff x Daughter One ShotsWhere stories live. Discover now