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"I'm sorry say that again I must have misheard you," I said not believing what I heard the first time it really couldn't be
"You heard right I said I was your–" before the man that claimed to be who he said he was again could speak my mother had cut in
"No the hell he ain't! And I be damned if I'm gonna have to sit here and listen to the nonsense that he's spewing he ain't no damn father of yours haven't been for years I grew to be both her mother and father while you grew to be NOTHING so don't you dare sit there right in front of my face and claim to be something that you definitely aren't" my mother said venom spewing in her voice with every word she spoke
I'd never seen my mother like this before this was definitely something new to me my mother would get angry at times but it would never be to this extent when my father left I never witnessed her to show any type of emotion towards the fact when id bought him up when I was younger all shed simply say was that I didn't have a father and I never had any follow up questions to ask after that but she would never get angry at me for asking looking at him now face to face I could tell was hard for her
"Alicia please this is a conversation between my children and me we don't need you interrupting because of your petty drama we've been over for almost 21 years now at some point your gonna have to get over it," the man said to be my father spewed back at my mother then after that had the nerve to smirk at the way my mother began to fidget in my aunts and dave's hold on her
"YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT HENRY!........leaving me could have been the goddamn best thing that you could have ever done for me minus the two kids you left me with I don't need you never did in fact cause I don't know what the hell I would have done had you piece of shit sorry excuse of a man had stayed, to begin with," my mother said tears now spilling from her eyes like a waterfall that couldn't be contained I felt bad for my mom and from the way I said father had laughed at her as she broke down in front of him as if it was nothing I just knew I wouldn't have liked him either I just knew he wouldn't be the father I had dreamed of meeting so bad for all these years I just knew he did not exceed to any of my expectations of him but then again I didn't know him never did
"Pathetic...." I heard him mutter out as my mother fell to her knees crying he turned his direction from my mother than to look at me
Once his eyes settled on mine I could visibly see that his facial features relaxed but on my face, there was no hiding the distinct disgust that mine held
He wanted to say something I knew he did but he probably didn't know what to say or how to say them
"Her name is heaven henry" I heard dave cut in
Wow this man hadn't even known what my name was and had the nerve he had some nerve I'd give you that I recall my aunt telling me that he left when I was only 4 months but even with only 4 months knowledge of me he could still manage to forget my name
It really does say a lot
"henry I think you need to leave" I heard my aunt April cut in
"April shut the hell up this is a family matter that does not involve you" henry bit back
"I am family im more family to these people than you have ever been, you don't get to come up here out of nowhere just cause you feel like it whenever you want to claim back something you never had to began with this isn't your home to come to henry Alicia has never and never will need anything from you I watched my sister work like a dog in order and provide for both dave and heaven and to have everything that she has you don't get to come up here and just act as nothing happened I'm sorry if you didn't know henry but any chance of redemption you hoped to seek out walked out that door right along with you
"I'm not here for redemption I'm here for my kids and my kids only," henry said glaring at aunt April accusingly as if she had done something wrong
"Well you can forget about it I want nothing to do with you," dave said not even bothering to look henrys way too busy trying to console our mother
"Oh come on son every boy needs a father in their life—
"Well then I guess it's too bad I didn't grow up with one fortunate for me I have a pretty good feeling I turned up just right not having you there to raise me maybe it could have been the best damn thing you couldn't have ever did for me as a man" dave said now his vision steadily focused on henry
But henry's line of sight wasn't focused on dave no they stared down at my mother accusingly as if it was her that had done something wrong
"What kind of lies have you been feeding my children Alicia?" he had the nerve to ask
My mom and aunt stared at henry in pure disbelief and I didn't blame them cause as I said earlier if it's one thing that I learned about this man was that he had nerve
"I didn't need to tell them anything you piece of shit all you had to do was leave and you already set the course it's crazy to think that after all these years you haven't changed one bit and you still haven't learned to take accountability for your own undoings but I don't have to explain myself to you and neither do my children now you better get the hell on henry because I will call the cops"
"I don't need to go any fucking where these kids are just as mine as they are yours"
"I've done great for the past 20 years without you and if you haven't noticed by now its not my choice anymore to make whether or not you get to be in their lives they are fully grown adults that can take up on their own but trust me when I say this had I still had it my way you wouldn't be able to touch a hair on my children's heads do you not remember the last thing it was that you said to me the day after you left us henry?"
"No I don't and I'm sure it doesn't matter what matters in this moment is that I want to be there for my children now"
"You said heaven was too dark-skinned to be your baby girl then you let your mother do a paper bag test on my son at the age of 2. I knew I just knew I had to leave you just then but I was pregnant with heaven at the time so what good would it have been? I guess in the end it didn't matter though cause you left anyways I just wish it would have been my choice instead"
"That happened over 20 years ago my mother died 10 years ago I changed I had time to over the years believe it or not people can grow"
"From where I'm standing it doesn't seem like you did I'm still looking at the same henry that walked out on me 20 years ago"
While my mother and henry continued to go back in forth I began to hyperventilate all of this was becoming to be too much especially after learning the reason my father left after all these years was because he didn't like the way the skin color of his children had come out what kind of–
I began to ask myself if the love of a parent was actually unconditional or was it just something people told kids who ended up believing it so that they never had to worry about their parents falling out of love with them because from where I'm standing it looked like the will to love me was just an option for my father is loving something that came from you and caries traits of you conditional or unconditional
I couldn't stand to be here anymore
So without a word, I left
I left the dining room still feeling overwhelmed as the question just swirled around my head just itching for an answer
Was the love of a parent conditional or unconditional?
