The Sweetest Devotion

𝐈𝐈.

I wiped off a smudge of grease from the hood of the deep green Bronco before standing back and cleaning my hands with the old rag.

    "You straight," I spoke up as I tore my eyes from the truck and peered over at my boy Savon.

He adjusted his gold wired frames and took in his ride. "Yeah? I'm not gon' be drivin' and my breaks won't work, right?"

His joke failed to humor me. I took my work seriously when I was customizing or fixing a car. "Like I said, you straight."

"Are we, though?" Savon questioned next, studying me with a look of seriousness.

I folded my arms, unsure what he was getting at. He'd been my boy since we were kids. Truth be told, we were like brothers, same mother different father type shit. "Whatchu mean?"

Savon lifted his chin at me. "Ain't seen you in a minute. Dude gotta get his breaks fixed just to see if you still around."

Here we go.

Brushing a hand over my head, I took a breath. I peered around my uncle Rod's garage, at anything but Savon just then. We were the only two inside. Business was slow on this Sunday evening, which wasn't surprising since it usually was.

If it was anybody else, I wouldn't say a thing. But like I said, Von was like a brother. "Things just been kinda different for me after...Leila."

Understanding had Savon making an O shape with his mouth as he soon nodded his head. Everybody knew my ex; she was glued to my side like a conjoined twin at most functions. Or up under me at my place, if I wasn't at hers. "Got you."

Just like everyone knew of our relationship, I was sure those closest to me knew of our split, too. It had been a year and some change and I still was collecting what was left of myself.

"I wasn't really fuckin' with no one," I explained further of my self-exile.

"No, really?" Savon responded sarcastically.

I shook my head. "I was in a pit, man. She had me twisted up."

"Shit, remind me never to fall like you did." Savon's pity was another reason I hadn't shown my face around the city much. My grandma once took a look at me and said I looked like a dog who'd lost his bone.

It was more than the love, though. It was everything. Ego. Self-esteem. Heartbreak. All in one fell swoop.

I still remembered what she'd said to me that day she broke up with me. Leila had come over, as she so often did, but to my surprise she had an empty box with her. She started grabbing things she'd left over the two years we were together around my spot. She fought against me when I'd tried to get a hold of her to see what was wrong.

"We just moving at different speeds, Keith," she'd sighed, sounding exhausted. "We want different things."

I managed to get her, taking her face in my palms and making her see into my eyes. That's when I saw it. No light. No joy to see me. No spark. A pair of dull brown eyes stared back at me and something told me there was no getting through to her.