The Lessons Life Teaches, A Collection of Short Stories.

The Gaffe

Gaffe is not a word I hear much anymore. It means: "an unintentional act or remark causing embarrassment to its originator". Which is exactly what this story is about.

I was working as a geologist in Thailand in 1980. I spent a couple of months in northern Thailand based in the city of "Chaing Mai". This was an incredibly beautiful city. I see on Google Maps; it has grown immensely since I was there. I hope it retained its charm and outstanding night street bazaars of locally hand made goods. The Thai people that I met and worked with were very helpful, friendly and had a fantastic sense of humor. During the week days, I worked with a graduate geologist, Mr. Prapat, to guide, drive, and translate. He was a very good geologist and person. On many weekends, I was a lone wolf. There were not a lot of employees who spoke English in restaurants in 1980. Even though I am terrible at learning languages, I worked diligently to learn the Thai greeting words, the numbers, and basic survival words especially for directions and food.

One Saturday, I went down to the restaurant at the Chaing Inn, where I was staying, for breakfast. It was a nice, convenient, and comfortable place to eat. I thought I would have a glass of milk first, instead of tea, while I tried to decipher the menu. The waitress was a young, pretty girl that did not speak English. I then used my best Thai to ask for a "drink of milk please". I did not know the word for a "glass" of milk. She started giggling, blushed, put her hand over her mouth and then darted back to the kitchen. Then yes, out came the cook from the kitchen with her. She pointed at me and they both started laughing like crazy. He then shook his head and returned to the kitchen. Every time she came to the table from then on, she would giggle. To be honest, I was very intimidated not knowing what I had done.

On Monday, I asked Mr. Prapat, my translator, what I had said to get such a reaction. I told him what I said and he began to laugh too. He said you actually asked for a "sip of her breast milk please." voilà ... the gaffe. I was completely embarrassed. Too much to even go back and apologize. I just didn't eat breakfast at the restaurant again. It was my first big language gaffe. Not my last by any means. It was probably the most humiliating. Being older, I would have asked Prapat to go back in with me to apologize to the waitress. But then I was young and just way too embarrassed.