Elegance with Expense

68. Worst of Memories

'Do you hate me?' 

It was the first thing to be said amongst this silence, we were both too stubborn to say anything for the first five minutes, but he was more so. I realised this wouldn't get anywhere, so I broke the ice.

'Come to the front.' He stayed silent for a moment, before signalling to the drivers space. Since the doors were locked, I had to climb over, and thank goodness that the car was bigger than normal ones, or I would have hit my head. 

I leaned back into the seat, and looked to him. I saw the side of his neck, filled with meaningless tattoos, that really screamed out 'I'm in a gang, don't mess with me.'

Emotionally indifferent people, the cold hearts, people don't feel awkward the way I do. I am warm within, vulnerable and real. That's why it's hard to connect with people like Dante. He's not so in touch with himself, he seems lost, but wants anyone but a soul to know about it.

'No Alessa, I don't hate you. I just hate the timezone that you came back to us in. Some fucked up things happened, and it caused me to hold a grudge against all things that were introduced during that time.' He explained with a vague sheet covering the facts.

'Do you want to talk about what actually happened?' I asked.

'I don't tell anyone this, Lorenzo knows a little, but not even Vince knows.' He grunted. It was clear that he wasn't used to talking so freely to me, and I suspect it was partially because Rocco took away our phones. 

'I want to have a better relationship with you, we're siblings, and at times, I'm treated like an outsider. I understand that you're not accustomed to a lifestyle with me in it, but I wasn't either. If you are not comfortable with explaining what happened, I completely understand, and there is no way that I will force you. We can find another way to get to know each other better, but if you do want to, I will be ready to listen.' I spoke. 'You don't know me very well, but you should know that you can trust me.'

'Well that's just it, I pushed and pushed you to reveal what happened to you in London, despite knowing that if anyone did that to me about this, I would go mental. You have a heart Alessa, and I'm not sure you will be able to accept my story if I tell you.'

'We've lived with different experiences. You understand love from family, I understand love from friends. You have to trust family, you choose to trust friends. But when I came back, I was hardly family, which is why you find it so difficult now to speak to me. Just know, that whatever you tell me, I won't judge you. I can't judge you, I have seen or maybe done worse. We all get involved in situations we call mistakes, and the aftermath is based on a decision coming from yourself.' 

He didn't even hesitate before speaking next, like he owed me this without explanation.

'About six months before you came home, I found out a girl I slept with months ago was pregnant. I was so unsure, because I always use protection. But what she did was so fucked. She waited until I was gone, and took the... um... thing out of the trash. She knew our family was wealthy, so she was guaranteed financial support. Anyways, she put what was in the thing, into herself. She got pregnant from that.' 

'You have a child?' I was in a state if shock.

'Depends what you want to call it after I tell you the rest of it.' He mumbled. I urged him to carry on. 'I took multiple DNA tests, to see if the kid was actually mine, it was. She told me what she had done afterwards, I got so pissed. At this point, she had practically ruined my life, I was supposed to be a bachelor for at least another 10 years, there was no way I was ready to have a child. I wasn't even sure if I ever wanted to be a father. I told Lorenzo this part, I told him after that she left 9 months pregnant because I refused to give her money, since this could go to court, I told her not to bother since the family is with one of the biggest law firms in the city. I told him that I hadn't seen her since.'