Brave the Storm (La Familia Series #1)

Chapter 31

p.s. Please do listen to the attached audio while reading this chapter :)

"We all have gathered here today to pay our tribute to our beloved brother, Gustavo Sanchez," said our Pastor.

Mom decided to hold a 3-day wake for dad, ayaw niya na daw ng masyado matagal. We then decided to cremate daddy as per his request na rin. After his last words sa amin, tanging mga impit na hikbi ang narinig sa buong kwarto.

"T-time of d-death," pinipilit ko ang sariling sabihin ang mga katagang iyon pero agad na sumikip ang dibdib ko. I put my hands over my mouth to supress all my crying. I can't do this. Of all the things I have done as a doctor, renouncing someone's death is my least favorite.

It was too soon.

My daddy...

How can he be gone so soon?

I then felt a hand, I opened my eyes only to be met by my mother. Her eyes were bloodshot but she smiled at me and nodded, "Go", she mouthed. I slowly shook my head.

"I can't, Mommy," I replied.

It probably took all her might to stand up and cup my face, "You can do it, Anak. Do it for daddy." And as she said those words, tears welled from her eyes.

I closed my eyes and deeply I sucked my breath.

I looked at daddy and thought he was just peacefully sleeping. "Time of death, 5:35 pm." And just then have my mom wept. She fell to the floor, like renouncing my dad's time of death made everything real. I hug her ever so tightly. She kept on mumbling dad's name. She was crying so hard that she passed out.

As I was placing mom on the couch I heard a sound, I looked at dad and there I saw Kais, singing.

"You were always there, like a shining light. On my darkest days, you were there to guide me. Oh, I miss you now, I wish you could see. Just how much your memory, will always mean to me. In a blink of an eye. I never got to say goodbye. Like a shooting star flying across the room. So fast, so far. You were gone too soon. You're part of me. And I'll never be the same here without you. You were gone too soon." She was all curled up on daddy's chest, eyes closed as she repeatedly sang those lines.

Slowly, she opened her eyes, looked at dad, bend on her knees, and kissed dad on the forehead as I heard her whisper, "I love you so much, daddy. You were and will always be the best daddy." And she smiled.

The hospital staff might have heard and probably felt the weeping in our room that they gave us time to be with dad. Wala ng araw nung lumabas ako at sinabing wala na si dad. They all say their condolences. Amidst the crowd, I saw Cove. His eyes were sad and asking, and so I smiled to assure him.

"Gustavo was the perfect husband and dad. I could never ask for more. He was very patient and understanding. He was there at my lowest; I never once felt alone and sad with Gustavo by my side," said Mom as she start her eulogy. "Experiencing two miscarriages wasn't a piece of cake. My relationship with my daughter was tainted, I was depressed, pero si Gustavo ni minsan hindi niya pinakita na nanghihina siya. Malalaman ko na lang dahil sa kalagitnaan ng gabi at magigising ako, maririnig ko ang impit na iyak niya. He was there on his knees, crying and praying to God for strength. Through every ups and down nandon siya. Despite being busy sa work he see to it na makamusta ang mga anak niya pati na rin ko. And I thank him for giving me a piece of him, our daughters. I know love because of Gustavo," she continued. Then she looked at dad's urn.

"I love you," softly she said as she quickly wiped the tears that escaped her eyes.

Nanatiling tahimik ang lahat as I make my way in front. I looked at everyone and there I saw Cove's eyes that met mine, ngumiti siya sa akin like a way of saying na kaya ko ito. I inhaled deeply and smiled at everyone.

"Kung may bagay na di mawawala kay dad, iyon yung paglalagay ng date sa bawat bagay na binibili o ginagawa niya; para daw malaman niya kung gaano katagal ang isang bagay," panimula ko para pagaanin ang tensyon. "Minsan nagagalit na sa kanya si mommy dahil kahit saan ka malingat ay makikita mo ang trademark niya na date, even my friends noticed that. Bakit daw halos lahat ng bagay sa bahay may date. But I love that about my dad. Hindi siya materialistic na tao. Masaya na siya sa mga simpleng bagay but if there's one thing that my dad really loves, it would be coffee." The crowd laughed upon hearing that.

They're all close with dad kaya panigurado na alam nila ito.

"Sa kanya mismo nanggaling, tanggalin na lahat ng softdrinks basta wag ang kape. Ganon niya kamahal ang kape." Kahit ako napapangiti habang inaalala ang bagay na iyon. "I'll be forever grateful to have him as my dad. Every memory, even the smallest details, I will cherish. It may be too soon but I thank God for lending us those borrowed times with dad. I get to experience the love of a father because of him. At least now, there's no more pain for him. He's finally free. Be happy, daddy," I said looking heavenward.

And it was Kais's turn to give her speech. Parang kailan lang nung una siyang iuwi nila mom and dad. She was so small, and she may grow physically but she will always be our little baby.

"A letter from me to dad," said Kais. "You were my playmate, my best friend, my number one supporter, and my fan. It was hard for me to see you suffer from pain and I can't do anything to ease it. You have always done something to ease my discomfort but I can't do the same to you. I prayed and prayed, and then your surgery was a success. I've told myself, the Lord has heard my prayers, but then you undergo chemo and it was pain all over again. I cried on bended knees but you weren't getting any better, dad. I started questioning the Lord. Why won't he make you all better? Why can't he just heal you? Why do you my dad needs to experience this? But then I remembered what you said, 'His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts higher than our thoughts,'" she smiled despite the tears flowing down her face. "I will never understand what you said but I'm trusting the Lord's plan for you. It was very hard, dad. It was too soon just like what Ate said, especially for me. I'm just starting to know you." she whispered.

There was a long pause and only Kais's cries can be heard. Patayo na ako para damayan siya but mom held me back.

"You may be gone but you're not, daddy. I know you will always be with us. Watching us. Celebrating with us. This is not goodbye, daddy. I will never say goodbye. I love you and always will, daddy. Your loving daughter, Kirsh." And that was the end of her speech.

I held her in my arms and there she cried. Noong burol ni daddy, ni hindi ko nakitang umiyak si Kais. Parang siya pa nga ang Ate sa aming dalawa. Siya ang umaasikaso sa mga nakikiramay kahit sa aming dalawa ni mommy. I knew at one point she's gonna break. She was bottling it all up and I was there selfishly crying not minding my little sister and mom.

Para akong nag black out nung mawala si daddy. I stayed in his room, hugging his clothes. It was surreal for me. I distanced myself as my way of coping. It was just a day before the burial nung lumabas ako at natauhan. Hindi gusto ni daddy na magkaganito ako, kami. Kahit man lang sa libing niya maging malakas ako para sa pamilya namin. Hindi gugustuhin ni daddy na makita kaming umiiyak for him. Kahit nung nagchechemo, ni minsan di siya umiyak sa harap namin.

Mom joined our little hug and she held Kais's hand.

"We, therefore, commit this body to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, in sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life. For to live is Christ and to die is gain."

Lumapit kami nila mommy sa harapan at sabay-sabay namin pinakawalan ang tatlong kalapati. As Kaisley said, this is not goodbye, dad.