Masquerade

21- Confession

"So you fell in love with me durning this mission? You stopped hating me out of nowhere and replaced it with love?" You ask as you stand up and walk away from him, brows knit together in confusion as you turn around to stare at him.

"No y/n," he says and your eyes shift off of him before going back to his eyes as you wait for him to continue.

"I've always loved you."

"What?"

"You're the reason I don't miss the 40's anymore. My love for you overcomes my love for my past life. You're the reason that I get up in the morning, that I continue living my crappy life. I do everything thinking about what you would want and how you would want me to do it. You're existence is the reason I exist," he says and you feel tears stream down your face.

"Bucky I—"

"I know. You hate me. I've accepted that. I've also accepted the fact that I won't move on. I can't— I can't move on from you. Every minute we've spent together, you may regret, but I don't. I cherish the good over the bad. My love for you is like a broken faucet. No matter how hard I try to turn it off, drops will still fall out and they'll never stop," he says as he steps closer to you.

"Even if you break my heart over and over, I'll keep loving you and I'll never learn how to stop. You are the reason I know what love truly is," he says. 

You look away from him as you grab your coat and leave the room. You run out of the building and down the sidewalk. There's still a drizzle happening and you feel tears fall down your face.

Bucky stands in the same spot that he was. Staring at the wall as he realizes everything he just said. It's finally settling in. His confession, every word he just uttered to you rings in his mind. A feeling of nausea consumes him and he finds himself sitting down.

He was still in a large amount of physical pain. Which he subsided in front of you because he knew you were worried and he didn't want to worry you. Grabbing his phone, he makes a call he never thought he would.

"Hey Sam."

—

You're sitting on a bench in the rain. Your mind is running a million miles per hour. Every word he said to you seems to float around your mind. You're not sure how you feel. Sure you've accepted the fact that you don't necessarily hate him anymore, but love? That's such a strong word. One you've never been to fond of.

The only man you've ever said 'I love you' and meant it was to Sam. And that was platonically.

Your phone rings and you see Sam calling you. "Hi Sammy," you say.

"Don't 'hi Sammy' me. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"A lot of things," you say.

"Like letting go of the one true chance you have at love?" He asks.

"Sam—"

"The boy is hopelessly in love with you. He would risk anything for you. And what do you do when he confesses? You run. Cause that's what you do. You run from your problems instead of facing them head on."

"I just needed time to think about this. I don't know if I love him," you say.

"Y/n, I'm your best friend. When I tell you that I know you love him, you better listen. Even before this mission I could see the unspoken love between you two. It's rare, that kind of love. When you love each other so much, it confuses you so you decide to hate each other instead. You only see that love in movies. Never in real life. Don't you dare throw this love away. If you do, I will kill you," Sam says.

"Sammy—"

"Go kiss him and tell him you love him, or so help me god, I will tell Tony that you want a big welcome home party next week," he threatens.

"Okay I'll tell him," you say.

"Thank you. Call me after and tell me how it went."

"Bye Sammy. I love you."

"I love you too."

You hang up and stand up to walk back to the hotel. Once you make it back, you walk up the stairs and inside the room.

Bucky stands up and winces in pain. Even though you're cold and shivering, you immediately turn your attention to him. "Are you in pain?" You ask as you walk towards him.

"You're cold and wet," he says and even though he's in pain, he walks across the room to grab you dry clothes. "You're in pain," you say as you walk up to him and try to get him to sit.

"You're shivering," he says as he takes your coat off. He takes your shirt off and puts one of his over your head. "This is your shirt," you say.

"Well, I'm not gonna look through your bag," he says as he starts to take your pants off. You bend down to take them all the way off and he helps you into his sweatpants.

"Now will you sit?" You ask.

He sits down and looks up at you. "Doll, you're still shivering," he says.

"Yes that happens when you're cold," you say bitterly. He rolls his eyes as he tries to pull you toward him, but you smack his hands away.

"Stop being so stubborn," he says.

"I'm not stubborn," you say causing him to laugh. "What?"

"You are the most stubborn person alive," he says and you roll your eyes. "Don't roll your eyes. You know you are. You just won't admit it. Hence, the stubbornness."

"I know I'm stubborn. I'm stubborn about a lot of things. I won't admit that I take long showers, or that I leave lights on half of the time. I won't admit that I don't drink enough water. But most of all I won't admit that I love you," you say.

Bucky's eyes go wide as he forces himself to stand up again.

"That's the thing I'm the most stubborn about. I have a hard time admitting it to myself let alone anyone else. I can't seem to say it out loud, but I'm gonna force myself to because I need to, not just for you, but also for me. I mean it's the truth, Bucky, I love you. I may not be able to express it like you did, but... I love you," you say and slightly chuckle.

"Now that I've said it, I feel like I can't stop. I love you. So much it hurts. I never actually hated you. From the start it's always been love. And now, I don't wanna stop saying it. I love you," you say with tears in your eyes.

"I don't want you to stop saying it," Bucky says as he closes the distance between the two of you and kisses you. "Never stop telling me you love me. I'll never stop telling you I love you. Until the day I die, I will tell you I love you every single day," he says.

"I'm yours, Bucky. As long as you say your mine," you say.

"I'm yours, doll. Forever."