all for us - maddy perez

vol. 1

rue's narration
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We all call him Smokey. His real name is Jordan Burns, although surprisingly, his biological last name had nothing to do with the adopted nickname.

Smokey was left behind by his alcoholic father during a drug deal with Marie O'Neill. She'd already taken in her grandson, Fezco, who was mistreated by his father. To say she was irate when she heard about it was an understatement.

For whatever reason, Marie loved kids. She learned to love Smokey within twenty minutes of owning him. After two months, he picked up a cigarette, smoked it, and nearly lit the house on fire after forgetting to put it out. That's where he got his nickname.

He was always a persuasive kid. He got kids his own age to buy from his newfound grandma. He got her good business from kids that came from areas where nobody gave a fuck what they did. Smokey was talented, and she loved him for it.

Fezco was a year older than Smokey, so they got along well. Fezco prevailed in math, but Smokey loved
English. He was the best speaker in the family and didn't apply the same slang that Fez did. It didn't take too much deductive reasoning to figure out why Smokey was the people person.

Then, a new kid came.

Some little baby that had appeared out of thin air in the family's hallway, crawling around on the carpet. Neither Smokey nor Fezco bothered to ask questions. They knew better at that point. They learned that the baby had been left by his mother, who never bothered to come back and pick him up.

So, Ashtray became a part of their family when Fezco was nine and Smokey was eight. Smokey liked him— he thought. He wasn't quite sure. For the longest time, it had just been him, Grandma, and Fez. Now there was a new kid.

But soon enough, Fez and Smokey became obsessed with Ashtray, who seemed to always have a snarl on his face, and it seemed he had picked it up from Smokey, who always had to appear more intimidating than his older brother, one of the most innocent people he'd ever met.

Smokey was nine when he got his scar. The one that, to this day, draws down through his eye to the middle of his cheek. He brags about it, but we all know it only reminds him of when times were simpler. For whatever reason, he still had a little innocence then.

Smokey was helping his Grandma, like he loved to do. She warned him about getting too close. He had to stay in the car.

He didn't that time. He wanted to see what his Grandma did. And what a mistake that was.

Violence was often a solution, something Smokey would resort to often in the future (and Ashtray took after him, admiring this quality that his older brother held), and Grandma was showcasing it in that moment.

Then Smokey tried to join the fight, simply because it was a 4-to-1, and she needed help. She wasn't an idiot. She should've asked for it a long time ago.

One second goes by of Smokey pounding one of the guys in the face, and he doesn't even realize he's been slashed in the face by a knife. Luckily, his eyes had been closed the entire time. When they got home that day, his grandmother dressed his wound and he went into the bathroom and threw up. After that, Smokey learned to live with the sight of blood.

And then he started to adore it.

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♫

all for us — labrinth ft. zendaya
"guilty or innocent, my love is infinite."

in my room — frank ocean
"quit being violent with me."

k — cigarettes after sex
"but i could tell that something had changed, the way you looked at me then."

daddy issues — the neighborhood
"and if you were my little girl, i'd do whatever i could do."

you get me so high — the neighborhood
"wish i didn't doubt it. wish i never told you all about about it."

doin time — lana del ray
"evil, i've come to tell you that she's evil."

too good — drake
"you take my love for granted, i just don't understand it."

kiss it better — rihanna
"it hurts inside when i look you in your eye. what are you willing to do?"

slow down — chase atlantic
"i don't know if you already know how, but girl i got the feeling that you know now."

streets — doja cat
"in my head, we belong, and i can't be without you."

do i wanna know —arctic monkeys
"do i wanna know if this feeling flows both ways?"

pillowtalk — zayn
"in the place that feels the tears, the place to lose your fears."

paper rings — taylor swift
"i like shiny things, but i'd marry you with paper rings."

the hills — the weeknd
"i only call you when it's half past five, the only time i'd ever call you mine."

friends — chase atlantic
"and what the hell were we? tell me we weren't just friends."

CONTENT WARNING
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this story contains the use of drugs, alcohol, violence, gore, language, sexual content, and abuse. read at your own discretion!