"and i'll do twenty-five to life, if it makes me a king... a star in your eyes."
m!oc x maddy perez
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|all for us — twelve — church| "i'm not about to become a baby daddy at seventeen."
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|post euphoria s2|
JORDAN DOESN'T WANT to visit his brother in jail. He still doesn't believe that Fez is in jail, sleeping in a cell all alone.
Well, not alone. He's accompanied by the guilt of Ash's death. The funeral is coming up. Fez isn't allowed to attend.
"I'm sorry, man." says a weakened Fed, leaning towards the glass. He rests his head against it. His eyes have never met Jordan's. "I just... I didn't think this would ever happen to me, you know?"
"You didn't expect something like that to happen?" Jordan scoffs bitterly. He shouldn't be so bitter. It's Fez's life, a life he had been an active part in. Jordan would have definitely joined in on that murder, had he been in town. "Yeah, I fucking figured, Fez."
Fez lets out a shuddery breath. He runs his hand over his tired, pale face and looks at Jordan's face. Jordan's face, not his eyes. Fez is scared to look at Jordan. "Please don't... please, man, please..."
"Fez, for fuck's sake!" Jordan grits his teeth together, shutting his eyes tightly as the memories flash in and out. "Ash is dead!"
Fez flinches backwards, as if Jordan's words sting him. He doesn't speak. His lips are pressed in a thin line, his chest frozen. He's not breathing. Jordan glances away, yet he doesn't feel guilty for what he says.
I think at some point, Jordan did realize that he shouldn't have been so angry at Fez. He realized that Ash was the one who killed Mouse and Custer. The only one to blame was Ash.
"I have to go." Jordan mutters out, burying his head in his hands. "Did you get a lawyer yet?"
"Yeah," says Fez quietly under his breath, tapping the wooden table he's sitting behind. "I'll figure it out, Smoke. There's still a chance for me, bro."
Jordan clenches his jaw at the nickname, but relents. The nickname softens him, and he runs a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry this happened, Snowflake. I... I promise, I'll get you out."
Fez shakes his head. "This ain't your problem, man. It's all on me. Okay? I'll do it."
Jordan doesn't listen to him. He feels the need to carry the burden of Fez's trial on his shoulders. It's the least he can do.
✯✯✯
"Hey," says Rue, entering the guest bedroom that Jordan has occupied for the last few days. "Uh... it's time to go."
It's the day of Ash's funeral. Jordan is sitting on the bed, staring at the ground blankly. He looks up at Rue, squinting at her. She tilts her head, looking away awkwardly:
