all for us - maddy perez

chapter eight. wanting the same thing

|all for us — eight — wanting the same thing|
" cross my heart and hope to die. "

|a thousand little trees of blood|

MADDY CAN'T STOP thinking about Jordan. She deeply believes that Jordan has feelings mirroring those of hers, but she can't be positively sure.

Friday rolls around, and all Maddy can do is stare at Jordan from across the cafeteria— and try to tell Kat how she feels about him.

"So, you're, like, crushing on the drug dealer?" says Kat, looking at Maddy with furrowed brows. Maddy sighs, looking from Jordan to Kat.

"Yes. I'm just wondering why that's such a complex thing for you to understand." sighs Maddy before shaking her head. "Bitch, listen, I like him, okay?"

"Okay." says Kat. "I figured. I thought there was something going on between you at your party, but I wasn't too sure. Anyway, you should tell him."

"Tell him?" repeats Maddy incredulously. "Are you crazy?"

"Maybe a little."

Jules stops by their table. She looks somewhat desolate, and sits down. Kat and Maddy look strangely at each other.

"Hey," greets Kat.

"Hi," mumbles Jules.

"Did you know Maddy's in love with Jordan?"

Maddy's eyes widen and then narrow in Kat's direction. However, Kat just flashes her a small smile as Jules straightens and grins at Maddy.

"Really? That's amazing!" says Jules enthusiastically. "Wait, I thought he was Cassie's ex?"

"And?" remarks Maddy.

"Isn't that, like, against girl code?"

"Oh, so you clearly didn't hear." laughs B.B., looking up from her phone. Jules stares at Maddy cluelessly.

"Cassie has been fucking Nate." the black-haired girl explains, making Jules' jaw drop in shock. She quickly covers her mouth with her hand.

"Oh, I'm sorry..." she murmurs underneath her hand. "Jesus, when did you find this out?"

"Sunday night." Maddy tells her, and Jules' face falls. "So much stuff happened Sunday night..."

"Yeah, I know." whispers Jules, glancing up. She sees Rue moving through the cafeteria before her eyes settle on Jordan, who is sitting alone. She walks over to him.

I hadn't been able to stop thinking about everything that had happened Sunday night. I fucked up. Bad. The first person I wanted to talk to was Jordan, because he would listen. I knew he would.

It had been a hard couple of days for me and I think Jordan recognized that, even if he didn't say anything to me. Jordan had never been addicted like I had, mainly because he had the stability to quit. He was so much stronger than me, although he often thought the opposite. I think Jordan might've been some sort of safety for me, but I don't know.