My Female Alpha

FIFTY FOUR

emery

An undecipherable weight sits on my chest. Just breathing is uncomfortable and my mouth feels the natural inclination to frown.

Is this grief? Am I processing Ara's death without even knowing it?

I recall the gruesome sight of her body strewn across the asphalt, her neck and head slanted at a nauseating angle. I can't help but feel more surprised by her death than relieved.

Shouldn't I feel relieved? She did horrible things to me, things that still make my body go rigid or bring tears to my eyes.

Now, she is dead. Gone. My tormentor will never be able to threaten me or Lenora ever again.

I look across the car at Lenora. Her gaze is fixed on the road, her knuckles white from holding the wheel so hard. Blood spatters color her tawny complexion along her cheeks, neck, shoulders, and arms. Her hair is a furious tangle of obsidian silk. She looks rough and dangerous, every bit as tough as I know her to be.

She saved me. Again. I know she's pissed and I understand why. I'm an idiot. Why did I think I could trust Calla? I guess I just hoped that maybe part of my human connection wouldn't wither away. She's the closest thing I had to a friend in Lemley. I don't know anyone else here. I can't go see my parents, even though they're worried about me. I just wanted to think about something other than rogue werewolves for two damn seconds.

And look where it got me. Right into the lap of one.

Sighing, my eyes turn to the window. Everything is dead now from the chilly winter temperatures and I just feel more sad realizing how many months of this to come I'll have to endure until spring.

The Jeep jerks to a halt and I blink, noticing we're parked under the carport. Lenora takes a deep breath. My eyes hesitantly move up to hers.

"Let's go," she mutters gruffly as she thrusts her door open.

After I gather myself, I unfasten my seatbelt, slide out of the car, and make a jarring landing on my feet. Lenora has already rounded the hood. She motions for me to lead the way again. Lowering my head, I shuffle towards the pack house. We step through the front door and voices from the kitchen cease. I stop at the stairwell and turn to Lenora, suddenly feeling exhausted. The last thing I want to do is talk or see anyone. I'm sure they are all aware of my latest stupidity.

"I'll be up there in a moment," she tells me. Her eyes are still set hard against me but there's a comforting familiarity in the way her hand brushes my lower back. "Go on."

Nodding, I start wordlessly climbing the stairs. I glance back down when I reach the top and blush upon noticing Lenora still at the foot of the stairs, watching me. She wets her pursed mouth before turning away. I bite my cheek, wondering how I can feel butterflies when I'm also so distraught.

I reach the door to her bedroom when I hear footsteps down the hall. Although seeing anyone is the very last thing I feel like doing now, I don't want to be rude. Caden offers a smile when our eyes meet.

"Hi, Luna," he greets me softly. "Are you . . . are you okay?"

His sweetness brings a fragmented smile to my lips. "I'm alright. How are you, Caden?"

My question seems to surprise him because his brows shoot up and his mouth opens and closes several times.

"I'm good," he manages. "You know . . . we were all worried about you."

"Thank you, Caden. I appreciate your concern and everyone else's. I'm okay. Lenora took care of things."

His teeth flash white in the dim light as he smiles just slightly. "Alpha always does. Anyway, I just saw you on my way down and wanted to say that I'm relieved you're back."